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If New York magazine is to be believed - and, what the hell, why not? - the institution of urban motherhood is going through a crisis of epic proportions. As gender roles and income rates shift, parenting for those who choose to stay in the city has become a minefield, emotionally, politically, and on that damn Urbanbaby.com site.
Which is why we here at Gawker are pleased to inaugurate a new weekly feature, "Diary of a Park Slope Mommy." Childrearing has always been an important part of city life, never more so than now, when reluctant adults both refuse - and can afford - to leave the pleasures of New York. To learn what's going on in the minds of these people, we've found a willing diarist from the trenches of motherhood. Perhaps more importantly, she's from the trenches of the most smug, self-righteous childrearing section of New York: Park Slope.
"Diary of a Park Slope Mommy" will chronicle the angst, despair, and corrosiveness to the soul that raising children and living in Park Slope engenders. Our diarist, a working professional with two children who prefers to remain anonymous, will guide you through a world more horrifying than even your worst nightmares. If you have kids yourself, you'll find it a terrifying mirror of your own experience. After the jump, Park Slope Mommy introduces herself, establishes her credentials, and lets you know what you can look forward to in the coming months.
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When my roommates and I moved to Brooklyn post-college, almost 20 ago, we didn't know anything about neighborhoods - Park Slope or Carroll Gardens or Williamsburg; those names meant nothing to us. Brooklyn was just a nebulous blob of non-Mahattan-ness. A place you lived if you really, really, really couldn't afford the City.
Our first apartment was steps away from the irredeemably grubby Fourth Avenue, on the fringes of what I know now is Park Slope. Although the apartment was large and pretty nice, actually, the area - you couldn't call it a neighborhood - was seedy; genuinely, not in the quaint, romanticized way the Williamsburg pioneers will speak of their environs. For example, my gay roommate was routinely taunted through his first floor bedroom window by a neighborhood crack whore who had a summer residence on our block. A neighborhood crack whore; the block wasn't yet established enough for exclusive laborers.
When I eventually landed in Park Slope proper over a decade ago, it was a sort of dumpy middle class neighborhood with some appealing residential architecture, and only one decent restaurant.
I stayed and got married and had a baby and another baby. And somewhere in there, Park Slope became hot shit. I'm not sure which happened first: Al di La opened and got a rep as Manhattan-worthy; or word traveled across the river that if you were rich, you could live in an historic 3-story brownstone and send your children to public school instead of living in a 2-bedroom postwar shoebox and pay 100,000 per kid for private school. All I know is at some point soon after, you didn't have to give detailed directions to reluctant cab drivers coming from Manhattan any more, Jennifer Connelly and her family had moved in up the street, and there were a bunch of toy shops that looked just like the MoMA Design Store. And Marty Markowitz's wet dream had come true.
So here I am, the bitch in the brownstone, leaving my Maclaren at the bottom of the three flight walk-up. You know me: I'm the mom who lets her kids run untended through the Tea Lounge, while I sneer at your parenting; I'm the one at the Power Play birthday party who disapproves of the superhero-themed goody bags and the fruit-punch juice boxes; I'm the woman standing behind you in line at the Co-op, appalled at your choice of non-organic breakfast cereal. Face it: I've been judging you. These are your stories
armchair_warrior retsop cixelsyd
Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 5885 Location: boondocks
Thu Aug 03, 06 11:30 am EST
i used to like park slope alot before all stroller invasion!!!
actually it was my favorite nabe in nyc.
Drano Meow Wars Veteran
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 1581
Thu Aug 03, 06 11:33 am EST
smartmom better accomplishes this column's mission statement, even if she doesn't mean to.
But hell, I'll read it.
Livetotravel Rent Stabilized
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 1630 Location: A block from the Park
Thu Aug 03, 06 11:57 am EST
I've spotted several new strollers on 7th Ave that place those PS kiddies front to back, instead of side-by-side as in those the double-wide nightmares.
Could this be the start of some newly evolved thinking on the part of PS mommies? _________________ But that's impossible.
Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 5885 Location: boondocks
Thu Aug 03, 06 11:58 am EST
Livetotravel wrote:
I've spotted several new strollers on 7th Ave that place those PS kiddies front to back, instead of side-by-side as in those the double-wide nightmares.
Could this be the start of some newly evolved thinking on the part of PS mommies?
you dont say
Drano Meow Wars Veteran
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 1581
Thu Aug 03, 06 12:04 pm EST
Livetotravel wrote:
I've spotted several new strollers on 7th Ave that place those PS kiddies front to back, instead of side-by-side as in those the double-wide nightmares.
Could this be the start of some newly evolved thinking on the part of PS mommies?
I like the models that have the bigger kid up top and the infant in a little sack toward the bottom.
Eh, I can't really begrudge anyone the stroller - you have a baby or toddler and need to do a lot of walking, it's necessary. The killer for me is occasionally seeing 5 and 6 year-olds being pushed around. I don't get that.
armchair_warrior retsop cixelsyd
Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 5885 Location: boondocks
Thu Aug 03, 06 12:09 pm EST
Drano wrote:
Livetotravel wrote:
I've spotted several new strollers on 7th Ave that place those PS kiddies front to back, instead of side-by-side as in those the double-wide nightmares.
Could this be the start of some newly evolved thinking on the part of PS mommies?
I like the models that have the bigger kid up top and the infant in a little sack toward the bottom.
Eh, I can't really begrudge anyone the stroller - you have a baby or toddler and need to do a lot of walking, it's necessary. The killer for me is occasionally seeing 5 and 6 year-olds being pushed around. I don't get that.
maybe the mommy still wants her 5 or 6 year old as a accessory to go along with her bags and stuff.
or they make them kids huge these days with mutant formula just look like 5 or 6 year old that is actually a baby.
kosherdave The Kosherist
Joined: 17 Jan 2006 Posts: 988
Thu Aug 03, 06 12:12 pm EST
Drano wrote:
Eh, I can't really begrudge anyone the stroller - you have a baby or toddler and need to do a lot of walking, it's necessary. The killer for me is occasionally seeing 5 and 6 year-olds being pushed around. I don't get that.
Agreed. I think this is part of the reason we have soooo many fat kids. I really really dislike fat kids. They gross me out (sorry I'm crabby and have spent a lot of time at the gym this and last month).
Rose Ninja
Joined: 10 Nov 2005 Posts: 911 Location: South Slope
Thu Aug 03, 06 12:46 pm EST
Drano wrote:
smartmom better accomplishes this column's mission statement, even if she doesn't mean to.
But hell, I'll read it.
Nah, Smartmom is the old-school Park Slope mom, the "artsy" kind who lives in a rent-stabilized apartment or a co-op she bought in 1989 with her underemployed "freelancer" husband who is trying to figure out how to make some money from his photography hobby. The new kind was a big-firm lawyer before she quit her job to stay home and micromanage little Clementine. The husband is an investment banker, and they live in a brownstone and plot to get rid of their rent-controlled tenant.
But in any event, this whole Park Slope Mom thing has already jumped the shark as far as I'm concerned.
kensingtonmom Guest
Thu Aug 03, 06 12:56 pm EST
Livetotravel wrote:
I've spotted several new strollers on 7th Ave that place those PS kiddies front to back, instead of side-by-side as in those the double-wide nightmares.
Could this be the start of some newly evolved thinking on the part of PS mommies?
Oh god here we go again... this is so tired. Every person with two kids that I know WANTS a front and back but wants one that works. Most front and backs are for malls--very smooth surfaces that have no bumps or curbs. Then there are some newer very expensive front and backs which tucks one kid under the other kid (personally, I am not shoving one of my kids under the others butt so that someone doesn't have to take a single step aside. I think we call that sharing). My friend has bought 6 front and back strollers in her quest to find one that will work in the city. We are talking thousands of dollars. In the end, she just wants a Mountain Buggy (the one that pisses you all off) but she has no room to store it in her apartment.
But anyway as a mother who fled the slope, the Gawker introduction does sound painfully too familiar. I used to hate going to the third street playground with all the half crazy judgmental "CEO" mothers there raising the perfectly successful child (who actually was usually having a tantrum in the sandbox and smashing the other kids over). I still like the slope but am happy not to be parenting there.
Drano Meow Wars Veteran
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 1581
Thu Aug 03, 06 12:58 pm EST
"...micromanage little Clementine."
"Clementine", eh? I admit I haven't heard that one. "Jonah" seems to be the name of the moment for boys, whereas if you tag your girl with anything that starts with the letters "J-u-l", you're good to go.
kensingtonmom Guest
Thu Aug 03, 06 1:25 pm EST
Rose wrote:
Drano wrote:
smartmom better accomplishes this column's mission statement, even if she doesn't mean to.
But hell, I'll read it.
Nah, Smartmom is the old-school Park Slope mom, the "artsy" kind who lives in a rent-stabilized apartment or a co-op she bought in 1989 with her underemployed "freelancer" husband who is trying to figure out how to make some money from his photography hobby. The new kind was a big-firm lawyer before she quit her job to stay home and micromanage little Clementine. The husband is an investment banker, and they live in a brownstone and plot to get rid of their rent-controlled tenant.
But in any event, this whole Park Slope Mom thing has already jumped the shark as far as I'm concerned.
Ha, that is exactly right on!!
I think that as awful as the cliche ParkSlope Moms can be, they are an easy target (too easy maybe). So hopefully this thread won't heat up because as much as I can't stand those CEO moms, I find myself defending mothers because it is just hard to be a parent.
armchair_warrior retsop cixelsyd
Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 5885 Location: boondocks
Thu Aug 03, 06 1:27 pm EST
i think its lack of drama. plus park slope moms are fun :p to talk about hehe.
Rose Ninja
Joined: 10 Nov 2005 Posts: 911 Location: South Slope
Thu Aug 03, 06 1:28 pm EST
Drano wrote:
"...micromanage little Clementine."
"Clementine", eh? I admit I haven't heard that one. "Jonah" seems to be the name of the moment for boys, whereas if you tag your girl with anything that starts with the letters "J-u-l", you're good to go.
I've heard Clementine a couple of times. I don't reallly know what the hot names are now . . . KM could probably fill us in. I think Ella was very hot a couple of years ago because all the toddler girls in the Slope seem to be named Ella. In my daughter's age group (young teens) they are all named Emma or Hannah.
And -- KM is right about the front-and-back stroller. They are very hard to push. You need to be pretty strong to get them up and down the curbs. Are the double strollers really that big a problem in people's lives? I hear these complaints all the time, but I walk around Park Slope every day and I have yet to be run down by a double stroller. I think we're doing okay if this is the worst quality-of-life problem in this neighborhood.
8thandPrez Stroller Person
Joined: 09 Sep 2005 Posts: 1133 Location: No longer at 8th and Prez
Thu Aug 03, 06 1:43 pm EST
Rose wrote:
Drano wrote:
"...micromanage little Clementine."
"Clementine", eh? I admit I haven't heard that one. "Jonah" seems to be the name of the moment for boys, whereas if you tag your girl with anything that starts with the letters "J-u-l", you're good to go.
I've heard Clementine a couple of times. I don't reallly know what the hot names are now . . . KM could probably fill us in. I think Ella was very hot a couple of years ago because all the toddler girls in the Slope seem to be named Ella. In my daughter's age group (young teens) they are all named Emma or Hannah.
Check out the Baby Name Voyager - a great interactive tool that allows you to see the relative popularity of names over the past 125 years.
According to the site, Clementine peaked around 1915 and then dropped out of the top 1000 in the 1950's.
Ella was popular in the 1880's and is in the middle of a big spike again.
Jonah had a brief appearance in the late 1880's, dropped out of the top 1000 until the 1960's and is now spiking big time.
Regarding anything that starts with J-U-L, you seem to be right. The JUL's of the world had a big spike in the late 1960's (due to Julie) and is in the middle of another due to the popularity of Julia, Julian, and Julio.
prusik Regular
Joined: 27 Jun 2006 Posts: 119 Location: South Slope
Thu Aug 03, 06 2:36 pm EST
Rose wrote:
Are the double strollers really that big a problem in people's lives?
I push a single stroller around but yes, I too have a problem with some of the double-wides, notably the Mountain Buggy which was referred to previously. Ever since one of those was credited with saving a kid's life when a building fell on it they've been flying out the stores. They're as wide as a double running stroller and barely fit on the sidewalk, never mind fitting down most store aisles (or between the beat-up sofas in the Tea Lounge - which BTW has an oupost opening on Court Street now).
I also have a peeve about Bugaboo's. Why spend $800 on a freakin' stroller? By a sensibly priced stroller and put the rest in the kid's college fund fer cripes sake. Sheesh...
prusik Regular
Joined: 27 Jun 2006 Posts: 119 Location: South Slope
Thu Aug 03, 06 2:39 pm EST
8thandPrez wrote:
Check out the Baby Name Voyager - a great interactive tool that allows you to see the relative popularity of names over the past 125 years.
Another quick-check option for what's hot at the moment is the Social Security website at http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/ (yes, your FICA tax dollars at work).
Livetotravel Rent Stabilized
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 1630 Location: A block from the Park
Thu Aug 03, 06 3:01 pm EST
kensingtonmom - I hate CEO moms too!
I thing we need to read more blogs from Maplewood moms - there just like PS moms but further west and with back yards. _________________ But that's impossible.
Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 5885 Location: boondocks
Thu Aug 03, 06 3:07 pm EST
8thandPrez wrote:
Rose wrote:
Drano wrote:
"...micromanage little Clementine."
"Clementine", eh? I admit I haven't heard that one. "Jonah" seems to be the name of the moment for boys, whereas if you tag your girl with anything that starts with the letters "J-u-l", you're good to go.
I've heard Clementine a couple of times. I don't reallly know what the hot names are now . . . KM could probably fill us in. I think Ella was very hot a couple of years ago because all the toddler girls in the Slope seem to be named Ella. In my daughter's age group (young teens) they are all named Emma or Hannah.
Check out the Baby Name Voyager - a great interactive tool that allows you to see the relative popularity of names over the past 125 years.
According to the site, Clementine peaked around 1915 and then dropped out of the top 1000 in the 1950's.
Ella was popular in the 1880's and is in the middle of a big spike again.
Jonah had a brief appearance in the late 1880's, dropped out of the top 1000 until the 1960's and is now spiking big time.
Regarding anything that starts with J-U-L, you seem to be right. The JUL's of the world had a big spike in the late 1960's (due to Julie) and is in the middle of another due to the popularity of Julia, Julian, and Julio.
if i had a kid i'll give him a modern name like "pw3d bi d4d"
linusvanpelt Jockin my Mercedes
Joined: 12 Oct 2005 Posts: 394 Location: Center Slope, between 4th and 5th Avenues
Thu Aug 03, 06 3:14 pm EST
The funny thing is, when New York magazine does some cliched trend article on some neighborhood or urban type, Gawker would be the first place to make fun of it. So what do they do? Go out and find a walking cliche to write a diary of her walking clichehood! Full, of course, of knee-jerk details you'd find in the same New York magazine story (organics, Maclarens, Tea Lounge, Jennifer Connelly), because that's what plays. Gawker, you have become what you beheld.
Is there such a thing as yuppie minstrelsy? If so, I think this is it.
kensingtonmom Guest
Thu Aug 03, 06 3:43 pm EST
prusik wrote:
I push a single stroller around but yes, I too have a problem with some of the double-wides, notably the Mountain Buggy which was referred to previously.
Do you have two kids? If not, I rest my case.
I have never bought anything trendy in my life and think bugaboos are a huge waste of money. But having tried a lot of strollers and having two kids under three, the mountain buggy just pushes easily in every kind of weather (got mine used), over curbs, bumpy roads, in the park and out in the country on dirt roads. I know that people are buying them because of that one that supposedly saved a kids life and are using the SUV mentality--bigger is better. But I bought it because I need to push 75 pounds of kids around. And believe me, they are getting out of a stroller permanently as fast as possible--I hate having to use one but it is the necessity of two toddlers.
Live to Travel: So funny about Maplewood. I sort of thought Maplewood peaked in interesting people about 20 years ago.
Guest
Thu Aug 03, 06 4:08 pm EST
prusik wrote:
8thandPrez wrote:
Check out the Baby Name Voyager - a great interactive tool that allows you to see the relative popularity of names over the past 125 years.
Another quick-check option for what's hot at the moment is the Social Security website at http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/ (yes, your FICA tax dollars at work).
Yeah, but Park Slope is its own little universe where people really do name their kids names like Clementine and Trixie (and make fun of "Walmart names" like Madison and Jaden -- I only know what a "Walmart name" is from reading Urbanbaby).
I can't imagine spending $800 on a stroller unless it is a stroller that is really going to last. I think I went through at least half a dozen cheap strollers with my two kids, probably several hundred dollars worth of strollers.
Rose Ninja
Joined: 10 Nov 2005 Posts: 911 Location: South Slope
Thu Aug 03, 06 4:13 pm EST
That was me (if you care).
stacey Beyond Karma
Joined: 01 Mar 2005 Posts: 3138 Location: Underhill Ave.
Thu Aug 03, 06 4:15 pm EST
kensingtonmom wrote:
Live to Travel: So funny about Maplewood. I sort of thought Maplewood peaked in interesting people about 20 years ago.
You think we are a colorful bunch - you should read Maplewood Online?
Flexichick Windsor Terrorist
Joined: 27 Apr 2006 Posts: 9623
Thu Aug 03, 06 4:16 pm EST
What/where is Maplewood?
kensingtonmom Guest
Thu Aug 03, 06 4:21 pm EST
stacey wrote:
You think we are a colorful bunch - you should read Maplewood Online?
I would like to read it--I have friends thinking of moving there and I keep saying why not PHiladelphia? Why the suburbs? Do you have a link? But when you have kids and suddenly you are broke like when you were 22, anything looks good at times.
stacey Beyond Karma
Joined: 01 Mar 2005 Posts: 3138 Location: Underhill Ave.
Joined: 01 Mar 2005 Posts: 3138 Location: Underhill Ave.
Thu Aug 03, 06 4:25 pm EST
kensingtonmom wrote:
stacey wrote:
You think we are a colorful bunch - you should read Maplewood Online?
I would like to read it--I have friends thinking of moving there and I keep saying why not PHiladelphia? Why the suburbs? Do you have a link? But when you have kids and suddenly you are broke like when you were 22, anything looks good at times.
Kensington - PM me or email me at stacey0768@aol.com if your friend is really serious about Maplewood I know quite a few people there who can help.
Last edited by stacey on Thu Aug 03, 06 4:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
Rose Ninja
Joined: 10 Nov 2005 Posts: 911 Location: South Slope
Thu Aug 03, 06 4:27 pm EST
Flexichick wrote:
What/where is Maplewood?
New Jersey suburb populated by former Park Slopers and their children.
coco Guest
Thu Aug 03, 06 5:30 pm EST
kosherdave wrote:
Drano wrote:
Eh, I can't really begrudge anyone the stroller - you have a baby or toddler and need to do a lot of walking, it's necessary. The killer for me is occasionally seeing 5 and 6 year-olds being pushed around. I don't get that.
Agreed. I think this is part of the reason we have soooo many fat kids. I really really dislike fat kids. They gross me out (sorry I'm crabby and have spent a lot of time at the gym this and last month).
Too funny. Especially when they're in the stroller and dragging their feet along. I find the little rascals in this neighborhood so ill-mannered too. Have you ever eaten at Two Boots? When I first moved here I tried it and it made me want to go home and tie my own tubes. The kids are out of control. (I think any teens who think getting pregnant is cool should be forced to work there.) But it's the parents' fault for letting their kids loose. I also recently saw a mother breast feeding what looked like a kindergartener. He had to have been 4 years old. He had teeth. I swear.
brooklynpotter ceramme ceramma danna
Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 4015 Location: near the square that's a circle
Thu Aug 03, 06 5:57 pm EST
my mom recently came to visit and in the course of our half hour walk we saw at least, no lie, 10 people with double strollers with twins in them.
kensingtonmom Guest
Thu Aug 03, 06 6:43 pm EST
brooklynpotter wrote:
my mom recently came to visit and in the course of our half hour walk we saw at least, no lie, 10 people with double strollers with twins in them.
Did you know that you are more likely to have twins if you are over 30 (not including fertility drugs), Americans have the most twins of any country because of the hormones put in milk, if you take the pill you are more likely to have twins when you go off. And of course, if you wait to have your kids until after 35 and have fertility problems, obviously you are more likely to have twins. I have twins and know all about them and the judgmental looks and rude questions I get. And yes, they do run in my family and yes i am over 35.
Flexichick Windsor Terrorist
Joined: 27 Apr 2006 Posts: 9623
Thu Aug 03, 06 6:56 pm EST
I know somebody who started a business for twins and triplets (greeting cards, gifts, etc) because there are so many more of them around now with fertility drugs
Livetotravel Rent Stabilized
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 1630 Location: A block from the Park
Thu Aug 03, 06 7:03 pm EST
African-American women are more likely to have twins than any other race. Asian and Native Americans have the lowest twinning rates. Caucasian women, especially those over age 35, have the highest rate of higher-order multiple births (triplets or more).
The Yoruba tribe of Nigeria exhibits one of the highest rates of twinning out of forty five births as fraternal twins. _________________ But that's impossible.
Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 5885 Location: boondocks
Thu Aug 03, 06 8:09 pm EST
Livetotravel wrote:
African-American women are more likely to have twins than any other race. Asian and Native Americans have the lowest twinning rates. Caucasian women, especially those over age 35, have the highest rate of higher-order multiple births (triplets or more).
The Yoruba tribe of Nigeria exhibits one of the highest rates of twinning out of forty five births as fraternal twins.
but the multiple birth thing for caucasian women doesnt really count its cause by the fertility drugs.
brooklynpotter ceramme ceramma danna
Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 4015 Location: near the square that's a circle
Thu Aug 03, 06 8:53 pm EST
kensingtonmom wrote:
brooklynpotter wrote:
my mom recently came to visit and in the course of our half hour walk we saw at least, no lie, 10 people with double strollers with twins in them.
Did you know that you are more likely to have twins if you are over 30 (not including fertility drugs), Americans have the most twins of any country because of the hormones put in milk, if you take the pill you are more likely to have twins when you go off. And of course, if you wait to have your kids until after 35 and have fertility problems, obviously you are more likely to have twins. I have twins and know all about them and the judgmental looks and rude questions I get. And yes, they do run in my family and yes i am over 35.
ok, i wasn't judging! twins are fabulous, i think, because you don't have to go through labor more than once.
km, you need a drink bunny. i won't tell anyone.
armchair_warrior retsop cixelsyd
Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 5885 Location: boondocks
Thu Aug 03, 06 9:37 pm EST
brooklynpotter wrote:
kensingtonmom wrote:
brooklynpotter wrote:
my mom recently came to visit and in the course of our half hour walk we saw at least, no lie, 10 people with double strollers with twins in them.
Did you know that you are more likely to have twins if you are over 30 (not including fertility drugs), Americans have the most twins of any country because of the hormones put in milk, if you take the pill you are more likely to have twins when you go off. And of course, if you wait to have your kids until after 35 and have fertility problems, obviously you are more likely to have twins. I have twins and know all about them and the judgmental looks and rude questions I get. And yes, they do run in my family and yes i am over 35.
ok, i wasn't judging! twins are fabulous, i think, because you don't have to go through labor more than once.
km, you need a drink bunny. i won't tell anyone.
I wont tell either but will take pictures of her drinking to black mail .
kensingtonmom Guest
Thu Aug 03, 06 9:42 pm EST
armchair_warrior wrote:
brooklynpotter wrote:
kensingtonmom wrote:
brooklynpotter wrote:
my mom recently came to visit and in the course of our half hour walk we saw at least, no lie, 10 people with double strollers with twins in them.
Did you know that you are more likely to have twins if you are over 30 (not including fertility drugs), Americans have the most twins of any country because of the hormones put in milk, if you take the pill you are more likely to have twins when you go off. And of course, if you wait to have your kids until after 35 and have fertility problems, obviously you are more likely to have twins. I have twins and know all about them and the judgmental looks and rude questions I get. And yes, they do run in my family and yes i am over 35.
ok, i wasn't judging! twins are fabulous, i think, because you don't have to go through labor more than once.
km, you need a drink bunny. i won't tell anyone.
I wont tell either but will take pictures of her drinking to black mail .
Thanks but I actually just came in from having beers with friends.
And twins are fantastic. I am a big fan of twins personally (except for the first three months of insanity). But people do think that your uterus is open for discussion when they see twins which is just rude frankly.
Flexichick Windsor Terrorist
Joined: 27 Apr 2006 Posts: 9623
Thu Aug 03, 06 9:46 pm EST
Well, people think all kinds of things are open for discussion that are truly none of their business - e.g. "when are you going to get married?", "don't you want any children? Why not?" "how much money do you make?"
I could go on and on. Being slightly irreverant (I'm sure you're all SHOCKED ), I usually have some snappy come back.
If all else fails, a "why do you ask?" usually puts them in an awkward position
brooklynpotter ceramme ceramma danna
Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 4015 Location: near the square that's a circle
Thu Aug 03, 06 9:54 pm EST
Flexichick wrote:
Well, people think all kinds of things are open for discussion that are truly none of their business - e.g. "when are you going to get married?", "don't you want any children? Why not?" "how much money do you make?"
I could go on and on. Being slightly irreverant (I'm sure you're all SHOCKED ), I usually have some snappy come back.
If all else fails, a "why do you ask?" usually puts them in an awkward position
brava, flexi. i'm so tired of hearing about the children i "could" have, at my age (even though i never wanted any to begin with) because, you know, "they're doing all kinds of things with fertility these days! even 50 year old women can have babies!"
at this point i look at them and say two words: egg donor. that pretty much shuts up anyone inquiring about the status of my uterus.
Flexichick Windsor Terrorist
Joined: 27 Apr 2006 Posts: 9623
Thu Aug 03, 06 9:57 pm EST
Seriously - "why do you ask?" while looking at them right in the eye usually makes them squirm.
Nobody has the balls to say "because I'm nosey".
If they say "I'm just curious", I say "why?"
It's not quite rude (certainly not as rude as the person who asked) and it usually gets the point across (that said, a direct "none of your fucking business" does the trick, too!)
armchair_warrior retsop cixelsyd
Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 5885 Location: boondocks
Thu Aug 03, 06 9:58 pm EST
you guys dont know how lucky you are. you know how hard is it for a guy to get pregnant!!!
I been wanting kids since forever!
anyway egg cost a ton and surrogate cost another arm to carry the baby.
you guys could just walk into any bar and get stupid guys to donate sperm.
Flexichick Windsor Terrorist
Joined: 27 Apr 2006 Posts: 9623
Thu Aug 03, 06 10:03 pm EST
AW, keep in mind that not wanting kids is a perfectly valid choice for many women and the pressure to marry and reproduce is NOT FUN - seems everybody thinks they have a right to voice their opinion about something that truly is none of their business.
So, I'm sure it is difficult to want a kid and not be able to have one (biologically), life on the other side of the fence is not easy either.
armchair_warrior retsop cixelsyd
Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 5885 Location: boondocks
Thu Aug 03, 06 10:04 pm EST
Flexichick wrote:
AW, keep in mind that not wanting kids is a perfectly valid choice for many women and the pressure to marry and reproduce is NOT FUN - seems everybody thinks they have a right to voice their opinion about something that truly is none of their business.
So, I'm sure it is difficult to want a kid and not be able to have one (biologically), life on the other side of the fence is not easy either.
I respect your choice of not wanting kids . i'm just jealous of all ladies thats all.
kensingtonmom Guest
Thu Aug 03, 06 10:48 pm EST
Flexichick wrote:
So, I'm sure it is difficult to want a kid and not be able to have one (biologically), life on the other side of the fence is not easy either.
Totally agree. I think people really feel they can ask women even more than men about very personal things. Kids are not for everyone but people want everyone to be a member of the same tribe. Actually when people ask me if my kids are "natural" (like I got them at the coop in the organic section), or if I got "a little help," I just look at them blank faced and say, "huh? nobody has ever asked me that before" and leave it at that.
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. i'm just jealous of all ladies thats all.