Van Helsing's Shameful Past?

Subject: Van Helsing's Shameful Past?

I just took a taxi back from LGA, and as the cabbie warmed me up for the tip he mentioned that the Van Helsing Theater used to be a porno house.

Can anyone confirm or deny?

This isn't much of a confirmation, but I heard the same thing. Probably from somebody on this board.

Yes it was, in the seventies. When I moved here it was closed and when it reopened as a regular theater they had a little party in front - everyone in the neighborhood was really happy that we had our own movie theater. Now ironically we don't.

They might have done better if they had played better movies, Martin Lawrence is funny but every one of his movies was not a draw for me.

you mean not even the one where he was a knight?

teddyballgame wrote: you mean not even the one where he was a knight?

Oh man, Black Knight was the worst. :roll:

thanks, oldtimer!

It's just a shame the place couldn't stay open long enough to show Big Momma's House 2, which is coming next year. That certainly would've been a big enough box office draw to keep the place going for another year or two.

teddyballgame wrote: "He said, 'Oh, I should have known that you would go and do some bogus s*** up in my house...'" R. Kelly, Trapped in the Closet, Chapter 2.

HAHAHAHAHA. off topic, but i just saw "trapped in the closet 1-12" last week, rather randomly. it was the most hilariously terrible thing ive ever seen... especially when the midget bursts out of under his sink. LOL big time!

I wrote a little thing about the trapped in the closet series on my blog at www.awesomeburrito.com, but I'm also thinking about maybe writing a scholarly analysis of all 12 parts. I'm getting the DVD for christmas so it should come soon after.

My favorite plot twist is when "the narrator" is introduced, and he's also R. Kelly, but he's not the same guy that was originally trapped in the closet.

Also- does R. Kelly not understand the connotations of "in the closet?"

teddyballgame wrote: I wrote a little thing about the trapped in the closet series on my blog at www.awesomeburrito.com, but I'm also thinking about maybe writing a scholarly analysis of all 12 parts. I'm getting the DVD for christmas so it should come soon after.

My favorite plot twist is when "the narrator" is introduced, and he's also R. Kelly, but he's not the same guy that was originally trapped in the closet.

Also- does R. Kelly not understand the connotations of "in the closet?"

Completely OT: I was thinking of writing something about it for the EMP Pop Conference, not too scholarly though. And I heard that South Park episode utilized the other meaning of "trapped in the closet" hilariously.

teddyballgame wrote: I wrote a little thing about the trapped in the closet series on my blog at www.awesomeburrito.com, but I'm also thinking about maybe writing a scholarly analysis of all 12 parts. I'm getting the DVD for christmas so it should come soon after.

My favorite plot twist is when "the narrator" is introduced, and he's also R. Kelly, but he's not the same guy that was originally trapped in the closet.

Also- does R. Kelly not understand the connotations of "in the closet?"

yes, after rewinding certaian key hilariously melodramatic moments in the narrative, we started giving comentary, in which we referred to them as "playa r. kelly" and "narrator r. kelly". in the one scene where the guy, his girl, his gay lover, playa r. kelly and narrator r. kelly were all in the room at the same time was quite... something.

the other morning, i greeted my wife by humming a few bars of the mindless brainwash track (that i can never now seem to get outta my head) that backs this crowning jewel of "hip-hopera", and followed up with "JUST THEN A MIDGET BURST OUT!!!" (or other key lines such as "i oought ta shoot you, bitch!" and "you see he's my lover... baby im gay")

unfortunately, there appear to be many thigns r. kelly doesnt understand, not least of them thie title to his "masterpiece". but his creation does have its moments, whether intentional or not...

for those of you who have no idea what this amazingly terrible phenomenon is that were discussing, peep http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trapped_In_The_Closet

teddyballgame wrote:
Also- does R. Kelly not understand the connotations of "in the closet?"

what do yo umean?
isn't the song all about him and his boy friend and his girl being mad at them . . . it's a downlow-fest!

Candicissima wrote: And I heard that South Park episode utilized the other meaning of "trapped in the closet" hilariously.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trapped_in_the_Closet_%28South_Park%29

The R. Kelly in the story was named Sylvester. I haven't seen 6-12 yet, so I dunno about a second version.

pitu wrote: isn't the song all about him and his boy friend and his girl being mad at them . . . it's a downlow-fest!

thats sort of like saying the titanic was "just a boat". hahahahahahaha.

read the wiki. i cant even begin to explain the tangle that is this film. its the most absurd and hilarious thing ive ever seen, pretty much.

rhodamine wrote: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trapped_In_The_Closet

So wait...was R. Kelly playing the midget? Or was he hiding in the closet while the midget had the confrontation with the cop guy? I must see it!

Candicissima wrote: [quote=rhodamine]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trapped_In_The_Closet

So wait...was R. Kelly playing the midget? Or was he hiding in the closet while the midget had the confrontation with the cop guy? I must see it!

yes, i must advise:

--that you definitely see it
--that you ensure that you are not at all sober whilst viewing it

i'll see if i can get a copy from my friend. maybe i can talk mike into tossing it on the big screen at soda for the next happyhour! hahahahaha.

otherwise, i think you can get 1-12 at target for like $5.99...

Sylvester is the first R. Kelly, the one who's initially trapped in the closet after sleeping with the gay preachers wife. The second R. Kelly is, according to vh1, "the narrator," and he's trapped in the closet after doing the cop's wife.

Subject: shit, think, shit, think, shit, think, think

you can see parts 1-5 thanks to google video here. ..