Don't Touch Hot Peppers and Handle Your Testicles - A Poem

Subject: Don't Touch Hot Peppers and Handle Your Testicles - A Poem

The Full Title:

"Do Not Ever Under Any Circumstances Handle Hot Peppers, Raw or Cooked, and Then Scratch or Testicles or Any Other Sensitive Body Area"

The late shift can be nice and can be a drag,
The world shuts down on you on its slightest whim,
But thank the lord for corner bodega and groceries,
Open until the midnight dim.

Strolling the aisles with mangoes, 'nanas and more,
My eyes drag sleepy, hungry, and worn down from the day,
Hoping to find the special veggie,
To help me on to satisfaction, sleepy time way.

And look, oh my!
I love my spicy foods.
These slim hot peppers,
Promise to bring the goods.

Home I go,
To cook up an artful dish,
At 1:00 am in the morning,
Sausage, stir fry and pasta fulfil my wish.

Cooking, chewing and lying back,
With King Cobra close at hand,
Delivery and exceed every expectation,
And I feel to be in a happier land.

It's so innocent in its occur,
The arm moes slowly south,
Down the waistband, to forbidden regions,
To happily scratch my crotch.

It feels good, it feels great.
I get up to stretch and walk out the bedroom door,
I walk to the kitchen but a tingle makes me pause,
A terrible growing tingling, a hot, dangerous horror.

Oh God no! I think,
This has happened to me before,
Having scratched hot pepper on the fingers,
On my testcles now so sore.

So now I sit in wretched pain,
And I do this just to warn,
Don't touch hot peppers then your body,
Clearly, twas' not what nature intended for.


~fin~




Addendum: Seriously, don't.

Milk is the answer, You can always pour it back when your done.


Seriously

Brilliance, pure and immediate. I think one of the ladies needs to write a response poem to this - I made a similar mistake once, but it was another's body (a more . . . internal . . . burning) that I unleashed this burning hellfire upon. Still feel guilty to this day, but she was a good sport about it.

The Invisible Lines wrote: I made a similar mistake once, but it was another's body (a more . . . internal . . . burning) that I unleashed this burning hellfire upon. Still feel guilty to this day, but she was a good sport about it.

Dude, speaking of testicles, you are seriously lucky to still be in possession of yours after that.

The Invisible Lines wrote: Brilliance, pure and immediate. I think one of the ladies needs to write a response poem to this - I made a similar mistake once, but it was another's body (a more . . . internal . . . burning) that I unleashed this burning hellfire upon. Still feel guilty to this day, but she was a good sport about it.

What- did you give her the clap?!?! :shock:

Whatchuwant wrote: What- did you give her the clap?!?! :shock:

Well now, that reminds me of a joke. It involves a girl having a guy, um, manually stimulate her, and it progresses from "stick a finger in me" to "put your hand in me," to "put both hands inside me." He does, and then she says, "Now clap." He tells her that he can't, at which point the girl smiles and say, "Tight, huh?"

poem aside.... really? can hot peppers really burn your testicle?

i had absent mindedly put on contact lens after handling hot peppers before (bad idea), even though i washed my hands, but it still burned.

Goodness Gracious, Great Balls of Fire!

KhuntienNang wrote: poem aside.... really? can hot peppers really burn your testicle?

This really isn't an issue that you should take anyone's word on. You need to try it for yourself. Please report back.

daver wrote: [quote=Whatchuwant]What- did you give her the clap?!?! :shock:

Well now, that reminds me of a joke. It involves a girl having a guy, um, manually stimulate her, and it progresses from "stick a finger in me" to "put your hand in me," to "put both hands inside me." He does, and then she says, "Now clap." He tells her that he can't, at which point the girl smiles and say, "Tight, huh?"



You're officially gross. =D>

Whatchuwant wrote: You're officially gross. =D>

Yer clapping.

Tight, huh?

Do I get a certificate or anything for being official???

daver wrote:
Well now, that reminds me of a joke. It involves a girl having a guy, um, manually stimulate her, and it progresses from "stick a finger in me" to "put your hand in me," to "put both hands inside me." He does, and then she says, "Now clap." He tells her that he can't, at which point the girl smiles and say, "Tight, huh?"

Geez, you guys are _far_ too easy to squick. I don't even have to break out my good jokes.

poem aside.... really? can hot peppers really burn your testicle?

.

No, no of course not. Try it for yourself if you don't believe me...really, it will be okay...

Well now, that reminds me of a joke. It involves a girl having a guy, um, manually stimulate her, and it progresses from "stick a finger in me" to "put your hand in me," to "put both hands inside me." He does, and then she says, "Now clap." He tells her that he can't, at which point the girl smiles and say, "Tight, huh?"

=D>

It depends on how sweaty the balls are. Sweating opens your pores so the capsaicin from peppers is more readily absorbed. On cold days scratch away, but when it's hot you better not.

I wonder if smegma saved you.

http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/wright1/