Worst Aspiring Writer One-Liners?

Do any of you have friends who are 'aspiring writers'/poets? Have you ever had that critical and cringe-worthy moment when they give you some of their 'work' and you suddenly realize your erstwhile friend is actually a complete moron? Anyone wicked enough to put the worst line down in this thread?? I'm feeling particularly evil tonight ,so here's a line from a poem that I will never forget:

I stop and think about the situation that I am in;
imitation love is all I have for her,
yet you I love more than myself.

ouch. guilty of trying too hard

Double ouch... Independent mind.. no one will be able to trump you on tat example.

Sadly, I could probably go through my old high school journals and find something I wrote that could easily beat that. But I won't.

(Sigh. Now I'll probably get drunk tonight and decide it'll be funny to post some examples.)

The real kick in the head is when these things get published. Somebody wrote the line "Nobody puts baby in a corner." And now we all know it. You may think your friend is a moron, but there are people out there who will think he/she is a genius. Mediocrity is the king of success in this world. Just ask Phil Collins and the makers of Titanic.

As Paula Poundstone once said:

Everything you see on TV was written down. Probably more than once. We're seeing the best possible version.

Another example a la "Nobody puts baby in the corner,"

You complete me

Published—and (shudder) famous.

I'll never let go, Jack, I'll never let go...

You had me at hello

And some of the best lines were not written down as part of the script.

"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."

I'm convinced I had the first written usage of "exercise in ennui" in April, 2001.

Mougar wrote: I'm convinced I had the first written usage of "exercise in ennui" in April, 2001.

too bad it wasn't the last!

Mougar wrote: I'm convinced I had the first written usage of "exercise in ennui" in April, 2001.

You were using "ennui" at the age of five? Impressive.

VoodooNYC wrote: [quote=Mougar]I'm convinced I had the first written usage of "exercise in ennui" in April, 2001.

You were using "ennui" at the age of five? Impressive. =D> =D> =D>