Annoying things you would love to shred or simply destroy

I'll admit, I occasionally look at the Tools section on Craigslist for interesting, cheap items that no untrained person should ever be able to buy. I then pick an item and wonder what I would build with it if I was somehow able to buy it without my wife's knowledge.

...and to think, people have the nerve to say I need a hobby.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/tls/

Today, I found an ad for a huge, somewhat-mobile shredder truck thing. It goes by the description: "Hammel 750D shredder set up for C&D magnetic crossbelt for seperating metal."

Please note that unlike the ones owned by the parks department, this one shreds metal!

Looks awesome! ...looks like you put a big object in the bin, and then little pieces come out on the handy, built-in conveyer belt.







http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/tls/1779379058.html

....which caused me to imagine what I would put in the device, in the event that I had access to the device and one of those much covetted "free from prosecution day passes" from all of the courts (civil, criminal, family, etc) that would doubtlessly pursue me after using said device to fulfill my version of "justice".

After much thought, I have concluded that I would put three of the six Mister Softee trucks that were parked in the vicinity of the Brooklyn Museum this weekend in it.

All six of them were independently playing the annoying Mister Softee jingle seemingly all day this past weekend. Couldn't they have at least had the courtesy to play their annoying jingle in syche with one another?

Please note, before you call me "grumpy": I allowed three trucks to survive. Ice cream is yummy. Fake, soft ice cream that is dipped in choclate-colored wax is $3 well spent.



As a generous guy, I will lend it to you after I am finished with it.

....If you had such a device, and such a "pass" for an afternoon, what would you put in it?

Please assume you have a fork lift to get whatever you wish to destroy in the bin.

Please do not post pictures of people, polticians or other living things. Items should be made of metal so the wonderful machine is not destroyed, and you can pass it on to the next person in a state of good repair.

Please include a picture with your post.

...and, go!

Her voice was annoying. Shred.

All the squeaky toys at off-leash, or least those not held by dogs who will never let another dog near it.

The car that now seems to be parked near our place all the time and that has an utlra-sensitive alarm that just doesn't stop. I wouldn't miss that.

car horns

The movie "Office Space" resonates with my life.

I'd shred this piece of shit that quit working too soon:

what is it?

^ ^ It's my ipod shuffle charging dock.

Every G.D. circus-tent sized golf umbrella in the city.

^ yes. Definitely shred those damn things.

i hate you, jeff koons. i really, really hate you.

hahaha. I have no idea who he is.

Those horns may - with mercy - shred themselves. Word is that W.C. sponsers are getting feedback that people are just muting their sets rather than enduring the Gawdawful buzz. Not the best for advertising...what may be tolerated now very well may not be as the field narrows...

whynot's brooklynian account

also, the fucking baby birds that seem to have been born under my air conditioner so all I hear is them screaming for food. All. The. Time.

also the million and one children that live below me. No pics of any.

scarlett wrote: whynot's brooklynian account

also, the fucking baby birds that seem to have been born under my air conditioner so all I hear is them screaming for food. All. The. Time.

also the million and one children that live below me. No pics of any.

favorite nemesis!

where have you been? ...none of those things are metal.

But the title of the thread just says annoying things. Were they supposed to be metal? I didn't actually read your post, ya know.

Been working with no appreciation, dreaming up ways to kick the baby birds and small children off my w indowsill.

The big truck thing shreds metals

....good to know you haven't changed.

You coming tomorrow?