roommate crap

Ugh I am not good at these types of internecine conflicts so I hope everyone on here has some advice. It should be easier to sort out than the equity of Obama's tax policy.

3br apartment 2 guys 1 girl. It's my apartment in that it's my lease and the landlord looks to me for the rent.

In a nutshell, 1guy is less than immaculately clean. Girl likes things spotless. Her way of dealing with 1guy's cleaning habits is to point them out to me and then ask me to speak with him about it.

For my part, I would like 1guy to clean up a little better but I also don't think you can hector someone over every little thing.

the girl is not shy about confrontation that is not the issue. but she does want me to relay her concerns, (which don't always bother me) to the other guy.

Does that strike you as a weird way to go about resolving things? I am not as bothered by the substance of the complaints as by the psychological games that seem to be going on.

So what says you great oracle of brooklynian?

Don't get in between. Tell her she needs to take it up with him personally, as you do not want to create a passive aggressive vibe in the household. Your all roommates, no one person is the parent to cry to.

yeah, you arent the landlord or peace keeper.
You all pay rent.

With roomates A B and C, if A have a problem with C, no need to go through B

This is an A and B conversation. "C" your way out of it.

All the posts make sense, let her handle the issues unless they bother you just as much. No, passive aggressive stuff.

Alternatively, you can arrange a roomie dinner and tell her to bring it up there. and, she may not be shy, but she's sure passive agressive.

Eh. I dunno that I agree here completely. It is your apartment, your lease, you pay the rent to landlord, right? So your two roommates are paying you. And you could kick them out, if you so chose, right? Making you _their_ landlord, effectively. Meaning that I don't think that it is entirely inappropriate that she bring these concerns to you, although most probably wouldn't. Myself included.

Were I you and I really didn't care about the substance of the complaints, I would just tell her that. So I guess my advice would be the same as everyone else, ultimately. Just tell her that it doesn't bother you, and that since it bothers her, she can feel free to take it up with him directly.

daver wrote: Eh. I dunno that I agree here completely. It is your apartment, your lease, you pay the rent to landlord, right? So your two roommates are paying you. And you could kick them out, if you so chose, right? Making you _their_ landlord, effectively. Meaning that I don't think that it is entirely inappropriate that she bring these concerns to you, although most probably wouldn't. Myself included.

Were I you and I really didn't care about the substance of the complaints, I would just tell her that. So I guess my advice would be the same as everyone else, ultimately. Just tell her that it doesn't bother you, and that since it bothers her, she can feel free to take it up with him directly.

I think this is her issue. There have been situations in the apartment where I have had to exert some authority over the situation. So I think she is trying to play off of that. But I think that just because I have the ultimate say does not mean I need to police every single issue that may arise. Right?

alternatively, get them both together, and lock them in a room. Tell them to work their shit out, and not come out until they're in agreement (or until one is dead)....and that if they can't be adults, you'll find 2 adults to replace them on the lease.

<---so glad to live alone right now

i like the way you think, flexichick

I will come over and settle all disputes. I rule with an iron fist and through fear. It works.

While you're there,, can I dogsit?

Oh hell yes! He's quite annoying lately.

vidro3 wrote: i like the way you think, flexichick

I am also available for kicking their asses if Ms. Beaverhausen is not available.

Flexichick wrote: [quote=vidro3]i like the way you think, flexichick

I am also available for kicking their asses if Ms. Beaverhausen is not available.

I'm not selfish. We can both go do it!

Anastasia Beaverhausen wrote: [quote=Flexichick][quote=vidro3]i like the way you think, flexichick

I am also available for kicking their asses if Ms. Beaverhausen is not available.

I'm not selfish. We can both go do it!

damn didn't know I had such a posse.

We expect beer/wine, jewelry and chocolate for our services.

I expect cash.

lol

Anastasia Beaverhausen wrote: We expect beer/wine, jewelry and chocolate for our services.

Wine (red), cheese (stinky) and bread (crusty) will get me there. If not to kick ass, at least to watch and giggle

I pay too much in taxes to afford jewelry

Are you in some way making a profit? Bigger room or paying less rent etc. You should be actually. you're the responsible party. If you are, then I think it becomes your responsibility. Also who moved in first or has the situation gotten worse over time.

vidro3 wrote: I pay too much in taxes to afford jewelry

Everyone wants ass-kicking services for free. Jeez. :roll:

modsquad wrote: Are you in some way making a profit? Bigger room or paying less rent etc. You should be actually. you're the responsible party. If you are, then I think it becomes your responsibility. Also who moved in first or has the situation gotten worse over time.

i am not making a profit, we all pay the same amount. I've been there the longest, the girl about a month less than me. the other guy moved in 2 weeks ago - but this situation has been a constant throughout the different roommates we've had.

she'll say things like she saw him use too much dish soap and i should tell him to use less. I think that is freaking petty ass shit and if you see that you should tell someone at the time.

vidro3 wrote: [quote=modsquad]Are you in some way making a profit? Bigger room or paying less rent etc. You should be actually. you're the responsible party. If you are, then I think it becomes your responsibility. Also who moved in first or has the situation gotten worse over time.

i am not making a profit, we all pay the same amount. I've been there the longest, the girl about a month less than me. the other guy moved in 2 weeks ago - but this situation has been a constant throughout the different roommates we've had.

she'll say things like she saw him use too much dish soap and i should tell him to use less. I think that is freaking petty ass shit and if you see that you should tell someone at the time.

Anyway, the law won't let you just put someone out on the street, you have to give them time to find a place. I forget how long, months, I think. so let her address her own problems. The rent is on time right? You might be sitting on a kinder-box, nip it in the bud and then you all smoke a bud!!!

Damn it feels good to be a trader!!!

vidro3 wrote: [quote=modsquad]Are you in some way making a profit? Bigger room or paying less rent etc. You should be actually. you're the responsible party. If you are, then I think it becomes your responsibility. Also who moved in first or has the situation gotten worse over time.

i am not making a profit, we all pay the same amount. I've been there the longest, the girl about a month less than me. the other guy moved in 2 weeks ago - but this situation has been a constant throughout the different roommates we've had.

she'll say things like she saw him use too much dish soap and i should tell him to use less. I think that is freaking petty ass shit and if you see that you should tell someone at the time.

oh, that's totally petty shit. I would not engage at that level. I'd say "if you want to be the soap monitor, you need to take that shit up with roomie directly"....that said, she wants the place clean and then criticizes the amount of soap somebody uses? I think I've found your problem!

she sounds like a weirdo.

Anastasia Beaverhausen wrote: she sounds like a weirdo.

*Head knod to that*

Are you sure her last name isn't Manson???

It's not always good to be the king. I had a friend that was convinced his subtenant used to much toilet paper. He finally started labeling his TP and would measure the radius of the spool at the end of the day. The subtenant claimed IBS, but it turned out the guy was jerking off 10 times a day. Go figure.

Oh my modsquad. Thanks for sharing.

Seriously though - measuring toilet paper and using too much dish soap? That stuff is cheap. Petty and ridiculous.

I would talk to the girl calmly and let her know that those things don't bother you and you don't think it's a big deal, but if she does, maybe she can work it out with the other roommate.

Tell her is she doesn't like it, she can either say something or MOVE.

so six weeks hence here is how things stand:

crazy girl has moved out
messy guy remains
new girl has moved in - no problems so far.

as crazy as she was, she had a point. he managed to use a whole bottle of dawn direct foam dish soap in just about 2 weeks. This is the one that says you get 250 pumps from a bottle.

here is the snag now. messy guy likes to cook. he does so just about every day. he always cleans up but he makes a freaking mess while he is cooking - ive honestly never seen anyone use so many dishes to make a meal. all the ingredients are left out, cans open etc. a mess.
and he leaves it for a good 2 hours. while he watches some dvds.

i understand not wanting to clean up right after you make your meal - i like to watch an episode of law & order over dinner. But i think this is over the line as far as extent and duration of mess.

what do you think? Are flexi and anastasia still available to deliver beatings?