Protocol on Noisy Neighbor Sex against my bedroom wall??

OK, so the walls in this apt are like paper thin, and, as such, I've learned far more than I want to about my neighbor--namely the pace and duration of his sex. I have no idea why he has chosen to put his bed up against the wall that is seriously like the thickness of a piece of plywood, but he has. And when he and his lady-friend churn the butter so to speak, it is comically loud in here. Its so embarrassing I don't even want to get up or move around because I'm literally traumatized, frozen in my bed. Is there some polite way of dealing with this--and wtf--isn't he aware of how ffing loud that must be given that he can probably hear me frigging put down my beer at night??


I should say in his defense, that he is mercifully brief.

get ear plugs :P or just bang on the wall with a stick!!!

Not sure what you can do, other than perhaps a friendly mention that you can hear him when you run into him in the hallway. It seems like what he's doing would fall under fair use of his bedroom for anyone. Get some noise-canceling headphones or something if it really bothers you, because you can't honestly expect him to stop having sex just because the walls are thin in your building.

Just treat it like any other noise. Most of the time people don't realize the noise they are making is disturbing to anyone else . . . If you feel embarassed slip a polite note under their door . . .

I had a neighbor post a note on my door. I was not amused. Mostly because my neighbor was a fat bitch.

Cheer him on.

C'mon buddy you can go a little longer!!

I wouldn't mention anything to him, he's allowed to have his jollies. Good for him for having a healthy sex life, maybe you can return the favor when you have someone over? lol

Grab some earplugs or put on a headset and play some music... like you said he's fairly quick.

vidro3 wrote: Cheer him on.

C'mon buddy you can go a little longer!!

Ha! "Big finish!"

Maybe make some noise in your bedroom and ask the guy if it was a problem...Perhaps he will get the hint...

I had a similar issue when I lived in LA. Every time I'd put on side two of Yoko Ono's Season of Glass. Consistency is key here.

If he's brief, who cares?

If he's brief, who cares?

Probably her.

Drunken Revival wrote:

If he's brief, who cares?

Probably her.

unless she's not enjoying herself, in which case, she is happy

I'm sure the OP can comment on whether she's enjoying herself.... I'm all ears.

DR, haven't you seen "When Harry Met Sally"?

...don't trust your ears.

Whynot makes and excellent point....

However, we must keep in mind that the OP's neighbours aren't Meg Ryan with a bottle of Heinz in her hand.

Any chance we can get a audio file of these shrieks and bangs?

I think the OP is now sleeping.

If one looks, one sees that he posted his query at 2:08 AM EST.

I believe his lady friend was quite vocal in the beginning but now they have appeared to enter the 'efficiency' phase of their relationship, so its a lot shorter/less frequent and she doesn't make noises (which I could also totally hear in the beginning). I don't blame them for groaning/whatever, just why can't he frigging move his bed away from the wall when he knows exactly how loud it must be. Ugh. Someone on this board once used the expression of being 'eyefucked' well, I believe I'm getting 'earfucked' and it has less to do with any prudishness on my part than the simple fact that I consider listening to someone's bodily functions as offensive as being forced to listen to someone having a bowel movement or noisily eating. There is something deeply intrusive about it, I mean, we're not in a dorm!

You could try hanging upholstered panels on that wall if it really bothers you, but I don't think you can dictate which wall your neighbor puts his bed against. It's just part of apartment living.

be even louder while cheering them on in your apartment... make sure to make lewd noises and be noticeably disappointed when they finish quickly

i guarantee the embarassment will make them quiet down

if that doesn't work, post scores of last night's performance with comments and helpful pointers on their front door in the morning

illig wrote:
if that doesn't work, post scores of last night's performance with comments and helpful pointers on their front door in the morning

Ha! I love this!

vidro3 wrote: Cheer him on.

C'mon buddy you can go a little longer!!

I would add a vuvuzela horn blast to the end of that cheer - maybe even add a GOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL

Drunken Revival wrote: Whynot makes and excellent point

Wrong, DR. so Wrong.

Thin walls suck. My bedroom shares a wall with the neighbors' bathroom and after a few weeks of them throwing hair dryers under the sink against my bed and hearing all about their morning routine yelled at each other, I left a polite note explaining how thin the walls were and requesting a little courtesy especially early mornings. They gradually seemed to forget that I can hear them pee and it's gotten so bad. One morning, on my day off, they were up with their fugyly delayed baby at the ass crack of dawn slamming the cabinets and screaming "Is my baby hungry? Did my baby dumpy dump? Mommy is coming." I said out loud in a normal tone of voice "I hate you. Please stfu." Nothing. I repeated everything they said in a loud nasty singsong voice. Nothing helped. I cannot imagine that they can't hear me when I can hear them, so I guess they are just evil.

At least a polite note helped briefly. Only solace.

Subject: Re: Protocol on Noisy Neighbor Sex against my bedroom wall??

independent mind wrote: OK, so the walls in this apt are like paper thin, and, as such, I've learned far more than I want to about my neighbor--namely the pace and duration of his sex. I have no idea why he has chosen to put his bed up against the wall that is seriously like the thickness of a piece of plywood, but he has. And when he and his lady-friend churn the butter so to speak, it is comically loud in here. Its so embarrassing I don't even want to get up or move around because I'm literally traumatized, frozen in my bed. Is there some polite way of dealing with this--and wtf--isn't he aware of how ffing loud that must be given that he can probably hear me frigging put down my beer at night??


I should say in his defense, that he is mercifully brief.

Too funny. I wouldn't put in his defense and mercifully brief in the same sentence. In your defense maybe.....

Maybe leave him a note on his door stating what your concern/problem is. Or you could always record him and play it back when he's home and uh not busy.

Mamacita wrote: I wouldn't mention anything to him, he's allowed to have his jollies. .

The point here isn't sex, the point is noise. If he were hammering on the wall in the middle of the night, would you say that the OP should suck it up cause the neighbor is allowed to hammer?

I hate notes

If you have a prob with the noise, knock on his door and tell him face to face. That will go a lot further than a pussy ass note.

I've heard that you can be as loud as the eff you want when you're making love.

stacey wrote: [quote=vidro3]Cheer him on.

C'mon buddy you can go a little longer!!

I would add a vuvuzela horn blast to the end of that cheer - maybe even add a GOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL

Score! i'm all for the soccer horn myself. I'm just grateful that there's loud sex going on somewhere in the slope.

Why not have some loud sex yourself when you KNOW he's home?

citymouse wrote: Why not have some loud sex yourself when you KNOW he's home?

or, if you lack a date, throw in a porn DVD, hook the TV up to the 100 W stereo system and turn up the volume.

I hear there are some good DVDs out there....

Figure out a way to break him and his g/f up. Problem solved until he finds a new one.