anthony bourdain on food network chefs. yes, really.

alafairnadia

alton brown: that collar-bone snapping fall off the motorcycle on Feasting On Asphalt? Good television!

emeril: as much as I hate the show-- compared to the current crop of culinary non-entities, he looks like Escoffier.

bobby flay: THROWDOWN [...] the object of which is to allow every web-fingered geek with a backyard grill--or half-mad muffin maker to proclaim, “I beat Bobby Flay at makin’ barbeque!” at the heart-warming end of show--before returning to tend their meth labs..

mario: Relegated to the circus of Iron Chef America, where--like a great, toothless lion, fouling his cage, he hangs on--and on--a major draw (and often the only reason to watch the show)

ace of cakes guy: what’s in those cakes, beneath the icing and marzipan and fondant?

giada: Food Net seems more interested in her enormous head [...] and her cleavage--than the fact that she [...] makes food you’d actually want to eat

rachael: She’s selling us satisfaction, the smug reassurance that mediocrity is quite enough.

paula: A recent Hawaii show was indistinguishable from an early John Waters film

sandra lee: Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time. She Must Be Stopped.

he has some cool iron chef america battles I'd love to see, but this one is my favorite: "Mikey” from Top Chef vs. Sandra Lee

full text here

carnivore

Hilarious!

It's funny because it's true.