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H.A.M.: Sing like Cher and Win a Canned Ham! — Brooklynian

H.A.M.: Sing like Cher and Win a Canned Ham!

the yarn monkey
the yarn monkey
edited November -1 in Prospect Heights
Sing like Cher and Win a Canned Ham!
Wednesday June 18, 2008
From 9:30-ish to 12:30 there and abouts

HUMANS AGAINST MUSIC
Welcome back your host Master Kroaky Song. Bill C. is still on a mission for World Peace and stuff. As HAM takes a summer break we celebrate Gay Pride Week with a Tribute to Cher. It's not just because we already bought the voicelss tracks and cancelled last month HAM (it's partially true). But we at HAM feel that nothing spells Gay Pride like that demimonde mistress of music, Cher LaPierre-Bono-Almond... or at least a Cher impersonator.

Cher has reinvented herself all through her life, with song and surgery. Check out these timeless classics that we have for you:
- The Beat Goes On (original nose)
- I Got You Babe (rhino reconstruction)
- Half Breed (rib removal)
- Dark Lady (jaw re-sculpturing)
- Gypsies Tramps 'n' Thieves (rhinoplasty adjustment)
- Bang Bang (tummy tuck)
- Believe (brow lift)
- Strong Enough (complete face lift)
- If I Could Turn Back Time (full-on body tuck)

This evening might yet prove to be more popular than our tribute to Gordon Lightfoot! Sing low 'n' win big! You don't have to dress like Cher to win a ham, but could it hurt? With her man-like vocal register anyone can sing like Cher as long as you get the "Cher" accent. For example "If I Could Turn Back Time" becomes "Ih icud tuhn back tai-ome". It's as if she developed her own Cher-like language. So put some glam pants and join in the fun.

MEDIOCRE PRIZES!
First Prize: 48 oz Krakus brand canned ham packed in it's own juices
Second Prize: "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" DVD, staring Johnny Depp
Third Prize: French's Spicy Brown Mustard and Grey Poupon Mild & Creamy Dijon

Join the Big Bohemian ending at 12:30. We have over 400 GET-OUT! voiceless tracks, but you'll have to show up and hear for yourself.

Humans Against Music
Wednesday June 18 , 2008
From 9:30-ish to 12:30 there and abouts
Freddy's Bar & Restaurant
485 Dean Street (6 Ave + Dean)
www.freddysbackroom.com
www.karaokebigassham.com
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Comments

  • josseleen
    josseleen
    Now I'm confused
  • josseleen
    josseleen
    Now I'm confused
  • the yarn monkey
    the yarn monkey
    It's not that conufusing. Master Kroaky Song said he'd host. It is the last HAM of the season, this marks the beginning of summer. What I find confusing is how a Cher impersonator keeps up with all that surgery. Do they have to pick a period and stay with it?
  • the yarn monkey
    the yarn monkey
    It's not that conufusing. Master Kroaky Song said he'd host. It is the last HAM of the season, this marks the beginning of summer. What I find confusing is how a Cher impersonator keeps up with all that surgery. Do they have to pick a period and stay with it?
  • daver
    daver
    The Yarn Monkey wrote: It's not that conufusing. Master Kroaky Song said he'd host. It is the last HAM of the season, this marks the beginning of summer. What I find confusing is how a Cher impersonator keeps up with all that surgery. Do they have to pick a period and stay with it?
    That's what the Elvis guys do. So why not?
  • daver
    daver
    The Yarn Monkey wrote: It's not that conufusing. Master Kroaky Song said he'd host. It is the last HAM of the season, this marks the beginning of summer. What I find confusing is how a Cher impersonator keeps up with all that surgery. Do they have to pick a period and stay with it?
    That's what the Elvis guys do. So why not?
  • the yarn monkey
    the yarn monkey
    It's true about the many types of Elvi. "Hawaiian Years" Elvis seems to be the most popular.
  • the yarn monkey
    the yarn monkey
    It's true about the many types of Elvi. "Hawaiian Years" Elvis seems to be the most popular.
  • sweet tea
    sweet tea
    The Yarn Monkey wrote: It's true about the many types of Elvi.
    i'm sure pensodessey knows better, but isn't it "Elves"?
  • sweet tea
    sweet tea
    The Yarn Monkey wrote: It's true about the many types of Elvi.
    i'm sure pensodessey knows better, but isn't it "Elves"?
  • the yarn monkey
    the yarn monkey
    You might be right. After all, it's not Latin, it's Elvish.
  • the yarn monkey
    the yarn monkey
    You might be right. After all, it's not Latin, it's Elvish.
  • quijibo
    quijibo
    if i go
    do i have to sing like cher
    or can 'i got you babe' like sonny?
  • quijibo
    quijibo
    if i go
    do i have to sing like cher
    or can 'i got you babe' like sonny?
  • sweet tea
    sweet tea
    The Yarn Monkey wrote: You might be right. After all, it's not Latin, it's Elvish.
    oh, you'll have to ask Karl about elvish.

    i was thinking latin, but third declension.





    also:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6079852.stm
  • sweet tea
    sweet tea
    The Yarn Monkey wrote: You might be right. After all, it's not Latin, it's Elvish.
    oh, you'll have to ask Karl about elvish.

    i was thinking latin, but third declension.





    also:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6079852.stm
  • the yarn monkey
    the yarn monkey
    Dress appropriately, but costumes are optional. Are Sonny impersonators in demand?
  • the yarn monkey
    the yarn monkey
    Dress appropriately, but costumes are optional. Are Sonny impersonators in demand?
  • daver
    daver
    sweet tea wrote: [quote=The Yarn Monkey]It's true about the many types of Elvi.
    i'm sure pensodessey knows better, but isn't it "Elves"?
    Elvi would be the plural of Elvus, Elves (two syllables) would be the Latin plural of Elvis. The generally accepted plural is Elvii, although Elvises is used occasionally.
  • daver
    daver
    sweet tea wrote: [quote=The Yarn Monkey]It's true about the many types of Elvi.
    i'm sure pensodessey knows better, but isn't it "Elves"?
    Elvi would be the plural of Elvus, Elves (two syllables) would be the Latin plural of Elvis. The generally accepted plural is Elvii, although Elvises is used occasionally.
  • the yarn monkey
    the yarn monkey
    I was hoping the correct term would be "Elveese". But what about multiple Cher? Is it simply "Chers"?
  • the yarn monkey
    the yarn monkey
    I was hoping the correct term would be "Elveese". But what about multiple Cher? Is it simply "Chers"?
  • the yarn monkey
    the yarn monkey

    Subject: Cher and Cher Alike

    Ay yes, Cher and Cher alike. A certain SarahK says she'll be there — wig and all. But what Cher-era, SarahK? It's the last HAM of the season. Bill C., Master Kraoky Song and I take our usual summer break to do someting world-peace-ish. We'll start up again in the fall.

    Human's Against Music has unearthed yet more DVD prizes to share with you "bronze medal" winners. In addition to Tim Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", HAM is awarding "For Your Consideration" and "Best in Show", both written and directed by laugh-makers, Christopher Guest and Eugene Levy. Second place never felt so funny.
  • quijibo
    quijibo
    second place?!

    I"M THERE!!!!
  • the yarn monkey
    the yarn monkey

    Subject: Summer is Here!

    Wow,wasn't that stupid fun! Humans Against Music thanks all of you showoffs for making the last HAM of the season a hit. We had a packed room, some minor technical glitches with the Karaoke 2000 laptop, and some missing lyrics. But all went well.

    Shout out to our first place winner Megan! You aren't "Oh So Quiet". Enjoy all 48 oz of your brand-new Krakus canned ham (please refrigerate). Kudos to SarahK, May-hem, Quijibo, Tifffany, Sam, Bleu, Heather, Maria, Corina, Tim... the Condiment and DVD prize winners, that huge table in the middle, the oglers, the two confused guys that walked in at the end. There were just too many of you to name.

    Don't lose that smile. Have a cool summer and thanks for signing my yearbook. HAM takes a holiday, but returns in the fall.
  • sweet tea
    sweet tea
    The Yarn Monkey wrote: I was hoping the correct term would be "Elveese". But what about multiple Cher? Is it simply "Chers"?
    cher is a collective noun, like fish or moose.

    one cher, two cher, red cher, blue cher.

    the preferred noun of multitude is "shimmering": a shimmering of cher filled the grange hall
  • daver
    daver
    sweet tea wrote: [quote=The Yarn Monkey]I was hoping the correct term would be "Elveese". But what about multiple Cher? Is it simply "Chers"?
    cher is a collective noun, like fish or moose.

    one cher, two cher, red cher, blue cher.

    the preferred noun of multitude is "shimmering": a shimmering of cher filled the grange hall
    Well, now you have to go and complicate with the fish comment. Because the plural of fish is fish when you are talking about the same species. But not when you are talking about different species.

    I caught a fish.
    I caught four fish.
    The fish of the river are all trout.
    The fishes of the river are trout, bass and some other damn thing.

    So, um, does species equate to race in this case? I suppose all races are the same species. But say you had an alien Cher impersonator. If it is like fish, then...

    All fourteen Cher were human.
    The fourteen Chers were from Earth, Neptune and Yarn Monkey-land.

    Or something like that.

    I think.

    Of course you had to correct me on the proper spelling of y'all, so WTF do I know.

    :mrgreen:
  • the yarn monkey
    the yarn monkey
    daver wrote:
    So, um, does species equate to race in this case? I suppose all races are the same species. But say you had an alien Cher impersonator. If it is like fish, then...

    All fourteen Cher were human.
    The fourteen Chers were from Earth, Neptune and Yarn Monkey-land...
    According to Cher, she is not a specific race. She in fact a "Half Breed". That's all she ever heard.
  • daver
    daver
    The Yarn Monkey wrote: [quote=daver]
    So, um, does species equate to race in this case? I suppose all races are the same species. But say you had an alien Cher impersonator. If it is like fish, then...

    All fourteen Cher were human.
    The fourteen Chers were from Earth, Neptune and Yarn Monkey-land...
    According to Cher, she is not a specific race. She in fact a "Half Breed". That's all she ever heard.
    Yes, good point. Indian squaw, white by law. Perhaps a unary plurality in and of herself. Selves. Whatever.
  • sweet tea
    sweet tea
    daver wrote: [quote=sweet tea][quote=The Yarn Monkey]I was hoping the correct term would be "Elveese". But what about multiple Cher? Is it simply "Chers"?
    cher is a collective noun, like fish or moose.

    one cher, two cher, red cher, blue cher.

    the preferred noun of multitude is "shimmering": a shimmering of cher filled the grange hall
    Well, now you have to go and complicate with the fish comment. Because the plural of fish is fish when you are talking about the same species. But not when you are talking about different species.

    I caught a fish.
    I caught four fish.
    The fish of the river are all trout.
    The fishes of the river are trout, bass and some other damn thing.

    So, um, does species equate to race in this case? I suppose all races are the same species. But say you had an alien Cher impersonator. If it is like fish, then...

    All fourteen Cher were human.
    The fourteen Chers were from Earth, Neptune and Yarn Monkey-land.

    Or something like that.

    I think.

    Of course you had to correct me on the proper spelling of y'all, so WTF do I know.

    :mrgreen:

    i had considered the fishes ish-es, but hadn't realized local interest would warrant such a technical discussion.

    some scholars contend that "chers" is the proper term when discussing individual cher of differing types (sonny and cher cher; gypsies, tramps, and theives cher; believe cher; etc.), but most consider this pedantry cher-splitting.
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