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How To Help... — Brooklynian

How To Help...

pammys
pammys
edited November -1 in Brooklyn Pets
Many of you know that we lost Moo in September. I have two cats still, PK and Izzy. Izzy and Moo were best buds and PK liked Moo and barely tolerates Izzy. I noticed shortly after Moo's death he would try and sit as close to PK as she would allow. I would sequester them in the living room during the day so she would be forced to be in the same vicinity as he. Over the last few weeks Izzy's behavior has been changing. He is still eating, using the litter box properly and occassionally playing. But he cries all the time, in the middle of the night, during the day. And I can not figure out what he wants. They are different from his old ones. He did see Moo's body when he died (Moo thankfully passed away at home shortly before we were heading to the vet), and he did not seemed phased (Moo had been stinky for a while). We showed him our neighbor's house to prove that Moo was not there. So he stopped asking. But lately....

We can not get a third cat (I would, but married people are supposed agree on these things damn it) We have every toy ever made, and I set aside 20 minutes of play time minimum a day. I am going to take him to the vet, but medically I do not think anything is wrong. I guess we could try mood pills, but I already have one cat on those. And if Izzy goes on them, I will need anti-depressants too. :D

Anyone else expirence a similar situation? A living cat's behavior changing months after loosing his friend? He used to be a cuddly, playful cat. And he still is, after intermitent days of being somber.

Thanks. And we gave up the grazing after everyone's very helpful posts.

Comments

  • da nator
    da nator
    Jackson's personality changed a lot after Phantom died 3.5 years ago.

    He used to be the bold, inquisitive one. They were great buddies and would wrestle all the time. They were equally matched and had a lot of fun chasing each other around the house and then sleeping near each other.

    She died and I got a new kitten (Stella). Stella is 100% alpha cat. Jackson is now shy - running to hide whenever the doorbell rings. Stella sometimes patrols the bed and tries not to let Jackson on. Instead of fighting/playing, he gives in now and slinks away. I have to feed him his food in another room and "invite" him to eat or he won't.

    I know he really changed when Phantom died. I miss my brave little cat, but I still love him as a sensitive guy. I just wish he'd be a little bolder and stand up for himself.

    I don't know what to do for Izzy except hope that it gets better. Then again, what's so different about having 3 cats? ;-)
  • pammys
    pammys
    I know!!! But stupid me, at some point long ago, I agreed that when one of our cats died (I was thinking 15 years in the future) we would become a two cat household! My husband is worried that PK, who is usually upset will be more upset and pee even more inappropriately. I also think he is not ready to love a new cat for who they are (I know that no one can replace Moo, but I am ready (or will be) to love another soul and personality.) I just want Izzy to not be lonely. I know there are no guarantees--but perhaps if we got a much younger kitty, he would want to be friends with a nice brother like Izzy. I was hoping that Pk would become nicer to her brother once Moo passed away. That was the personality change I was hoping for. But I swear her attitude was "Too bad so sad, whats in it for me" But thanks for the offering of help. I am sorry about Jackson--it is so sad when they loose their friend. As humans we are sad, and than the poor kities. They can not understand what happened or why. I know I am rambling...but it is nice when other people understand.
  • mikezero111
    mikezero111
    I still love my Jackson like crazy, I just get sad that he is so afraid now. I am sure he was depressed and confused as Phantom died very suddenly (in about 3 weeks from first noticing she wasn't well) and he misses his buddy.

    That said, I do find Stella and Jackson in bed together (about 2 feet away from each other, but both on the bed) sometimes and they love to go outside in my yard together. They'll probably never be the same type of buddies that Jackson and Phantom are, but I know they keep each other company.

    If your husband is ever open to changing his mind, I'd recommend fostering (with intent to keep). Kensington Kitties is one group I recommend - they will let you "try and buy" (if you are qualified - basically want to know you can afford and will care for a cat). It could be a good test to see how PK would react, and really nothing to lose.
  • tropicalproducts
    tropicalproducts
    See if your cat doesn't have kidney stones.
  • MOD
    MOD
    Flexichick wrote:
    If your husband is ever open to changing his mind, I'd recommend fostering (with intent to keep). Kensington Kitties is one group I recommend - they will let you "try and buy" (if you are qualified - basically want to know you can afford and will care for a cat). It could be a good test to see how PK would react, and really nothing to lose.
    I recommend fostering. There's also the Empty Cages Collective. You can test out the cats and find a right personality match.
  • pammys
    pammys
    Thanks everyone. I will look into after we get back from our trip west. And I will look into the kidney stones as well.
  • caseopele
    caseopele
    I would recommend fostering as well, it's a good way to find out if PK will freak. When my sweet black lab mix passed away in 2002, my other dog Cheech understandably missed him. Unfortunately, it got worse instead of better, he became very angry with me and dogs on the street that looked like my sweet boy. After a year and a half I adopted my younger dog Ripley. Cheech didn't take to her right away but after a few months they became pretty close. He's 13 and she's 5 now, Ripley keeps him a little young and gets him to play.

    Some animals grieve more than others, they bond to others more. Ruling out any health problems I would say that Izzy is lonely. If your husband loves Izzy (which I'm sure he does) then getting a 3rd cat (if possible) should be okay.
  • myohogirl
    myohogirl
    Look at this boy, Duncan. He's adorable, with a snaggletooth. His owners never picked him up from the vet :-(

    http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=12619072
  • pammys
    pammys
    Now, if you could all come over and convince him!! HE is wonderful with the cats, but I have not won him over (YET). We have a vet appt. this afternoon, so barring any medical issues, hopefully everything will shake out fine. We can not get Duncan, at least right now. (He is cute and who does no pick up their animals--I can not fathom these people--even if money is an issue, the poor kitty). We are supposed to go away to visit my parents this week. But my husband might cancel to stay with Izzy (he is not all bad).

    Does anyone know if cats can be affected by sesonal affect disorder?
  • milby
    milby
    I think now that my cats have a taste for life in my backyard, they miss it when they don't get to go out all of the time in the winter. So, maybe they do get S.A.D.

    Gimme your hubby's number. I'll try to change his mind ;-)
  • MOD
    MOD
    Flexichick wrote: Look at this boy, Duncan. He's adorable, with a snaggletooth. His owners never picked him up from the vet :-(

    http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=12619072
    Agreed, don't hate on the snagletooth, I have one and Papi still took me in :P
  • pammys
    pammys
    Izzy is fine medically. And my husband was very great and built him a permanent kitty play pen in one of our storage cubbies above the door. He is not that into yet (Izzy not Matt) but I am hoping that as he gets happier he will enjoy it. He did like it when I stood on the ladder and hung out with him--but not so much on his own :(. But in the mean time I hope good old fashioned persistance and wife like commenting will eventually break him down and he will be ready for a new kitty. Truthfully, he had a special bond with Moo (he does with all the kitties but very close to Moo). When we first started dating and I had to run to work on a Sunday morning, Moo jumped in between Matt's legs. Three hours later when I returned Matt was still there with his arms in his shirt freezing watching the start part of a DVD (not the movie but the part with the options). He did not want to disturb Moo, so he did not want to get up to get a blanket or reach the remote. So while he won't admit it, I think he is not as ready as I am to love again. But I will work on it. Have a great New Year everyone.
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