Dead body in Mt. Prospect Park!

Everyone needs to cool off. RIP the poor guy in the park and condolences to his family and friends.

I have nothing but unending EMPATHY for this man, his friends and family. I'm certain that we have all been touched by death and suicide specifically in our lives.

Anyone that doesn't have sympathy for someone in this situation isn't worth speaking with. That and a dollar will get you a cup of coffee and a ringside seat at the next go round. I grow weary of hearing that there is only a place for sympathy. There is room for more.

Guess what? It is fucked up to hang oneself in a children's playground. It is fucked up when a kid that hasn't even reached his teenage years decides that he needs to end it all. And it is fucked up when a father of five decides to shoot himself in front of that family, through some misguided sense of what passes as duty.

Having sympathy ain't gonna change anything, honey.

These are people in our world. These are people in our country. These are people in our city. These are people in our community and these are our friends and family. Sorry to make it personal, but these people are my friends, and these people are your friends.

If not us, then who? If not now, then when?

Every lost soul recalls to me the ones before, and pain now and then. And it makes me angry. And it makes me wonder anew how we have failed, as a community and a society. As friends and neighbors. And how we can change that.

So take your sympathies and set them afloat. Make whatever peace you can. And then don't move on and forget it. Carry it with you and try to be the change in the world. Because it is fucked up, and we should do better. Somehow.

putz wrote:

one could also say "it's a real shame when those who claim to love their friends fail to demonstrate how they value and empathize with them."

Ok- here's a question for you: how can I show that friend their "value" and empathize with them when they're dead???

Have you ever seen a parent that's lost a child to suicide?

I have sympathy and yes, some empathy for people who are suicidal. I've suffered from depression, been on the meds and yea, even had those horrible thoughts of permanently signing myself out.

But, when I was in those times, I had to think about the ones around me in my life, and how unbelievably devastating it would be. When someone kills themselves they change the life trajectory of everyone they know- and not in a good way. I know they don't mean to, but they do.

They are being selfish when they do this- I'm not going to apologize for that.

You may think my opinion inane- but...

Last weekend I went to the memorial service of a person who was on this site for a long time. He jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge. He had a 4 year old daughter. Guess what- she was incredibly mad at her father for what he'd done. Now, ok, fine she's 4- but I think that's telling. She loves her daddy. She can't understand why her daddy would do such a thing. If he loved her, why would he leave her? This is basic and its primal. She'll never see him again and she's supposed to have sympathy and empathy?? No way.

I'm someone who thinks that suicide should not be acceptable in society as a way out. To give sympathy to the life-long suffering family- yes. But, life is a gift. People suffer- this is also part of the gift. Suffering= growth.

I didn't know my friend was suicidal. Some don't even think he was- that it was a spontaneous, split second decision. So, how could I have prevented this- given extra love and attention to someone who I had no idea was suffering so? How could I have known?

I read an article about the history of people who jumped off the Golden Gate- the few that survived actually said the second they went over the rail- they changed their minds. Sobering. True.

This post is rambling, I know. But whatever, I don't need to keep dragging this out. I have my opinions and you freakin' STRANGERS aren't about to "enlighten" me. I know I'm not any of the things you've described so its ok. I also know none of you would have the guts to say it to my face- and that's ok too.

Have great weekend, y'all! And don't forget- don't fucking kill yourselves!

putz wrote:
my point is simply that we should assume that everyone we love has at least momentarily thought of suicide and it is OUR responsibility to make their life worth living.

Umm, no it's not.

I'm fortunate enough to have many friends. Unfortunately, I do not have time to hug each and every one on a regular basis to tell them how much they're valued. Thier life is their journey- they must (as must I) figure out for ourselves that true love comes from inside. I cannot make my friends realize shit if they don't first love themselves and I don't make it their responsibility to show me that I'm worth something. When I'm down I don't expect anyone to come running to my rescue and save me from myself- gimme a break.

Tell me putz (how appropriate a name!)- do you coddle you're friends, smothering them with your love and attention whether its wanted or not??? Whether you even know if they're depressed or not? I'll assume you don't for the sake of the pathetic argument you raise.

I'm sorry- maybe you've gotten my attention to address this for more then the two seconds it deserves. Your arguments reek of desperation for friendship. Why not try a friendlier forum?