incident at Underhill Playground
Yesterday (Thurs April 16) around 4pm there was an incident that required the response of local police at the Underhill playground.
A woman brought in a large hummer style pink Barbie car
, but became hostile and belligerent when other children showed interest in it. My own 2yr old daughter climbed in at which point the woman approached and started arguing with me. Very rude, for lack of a better word, very ghetto attitude. I took my daughter away and tried to explain we thought it might be one of the public toys, etc, and when the woman continued to be nasty I said something to the effect that she was being rude and selfish, etc. I guess I could have been more turn-the-other cheek, but I doubt it would have mattered.
This provoked a man who was with her to come after me and start threatening me, and by association, the little girl in my arms. The scene was aggressive enough that some people began collecting their children and leaving the playground. The guy was described by others as looking very 'thug-like' and one person told me they believed he had a knife case at his belt, I didn't notice. Anyway, when it became clear things were escalating I stepped away from him and called 911, which seemed to at least stop the immediate situation from boiling over.
The woman stayed belligerent and verbally abusive the entire time, hurling insults and taunts at me and my family, though the guy tried to disappear as soon as the police arrived. Make of that what you will.
I spoke with other parents and they said she'd been harassing people there all day, and they had seen her at the playground before, acting similarly. John, or any other playground rep, was absent. There were dozens of witnesses, if I have any details wrong feel free to correct me here.
After speaking to the police I took my family home, but I'm not sure how comfortable we'll be going back to that playground. I want to emphasize this wasn't a misunderstanding between rational adults, the people involved were belligerent and physically hostile.
Bottom line, if you see a woman there (medium build, maybe in her mid 30s, blondish straightened hair, african american) with a gigantic pink Barbie Hummer, keep your kids off of it and give her a WIDE berth, she's not worth the trouble.
A woman brought in a large hummer style pink Barbie car
, but became hostile and belligerent when other children showed interest in it. My own 2yr old daughter climbed in at which point the woman approached and started arguing with me. Very rude, for lack of a better word, very ghetto attitude. I took my daughter away and tried to explain we thought it might be one of the public toys, etc, and when the woman continued to be nasty I said something to the effect that she was being rude and selfish, etc. I guess I could have been more turn-the-other cheek, but I doubt it would have mattered.This provoked a man who was with her to come after me and start threatening me, and by association, the little girl in my arms. The scene was aggressive enough that some people began collecting their children and leaving the playground. The guy was described by others as looking very 'thug-like' and one person told me they believed he had a knife case at his belt, I didn't notice. Anyway, when it became clear things were escalating I stepped away from him and called 911, which seemed to at least stop the immediate situation from boiling over.
The woman stayed belligerent and verbally abusive the entire time, hurling insults and taunts at me and my family, though the guy tried to disappear as soon as the police arrived. Make of that what you will.
I spoke with other parents and they said she'd been harassing people there all day, and they had seen her at the playground before, acting similarly. John, or any other playground rep, was absent. There were dozens of witnesses, if I have any details wrong feel free to correct me here.
After speaking to the police I took my family home, but I'm not sure how comfortable we'll be going back to that playground. I want to emphasize this wasn't a misunderstanding between rational adults, the people involved were belligerent and physically hostile.
Bottom line, if you see a woman there (medium build, maybe in her mid 30s, blondish straightened hair, african american) with a gigantic pink Barbie Hummer, keep your kids off of it and give her a WIDE berth, she's not worth the trouble.
Comments
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Next time take a cell phone photo. This woman sound like a public menace. We could make posters!
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Not for nothing, but why would one assume that a flashy toy like that would be a 'public toy'? I know that kids wander and explore, and regardless of this thought, the actions of those two were terribly unwarranted, but I can't help but think that this whole thing could have easily been avoided. Color me ignorant if you see otherwise, but the large logic leap there as to the 'status' of the toy is flawed. That being said, it's sounds like you handled the ensuing argument/confrontation well and I hope that you and your dear never have to face that again. Sorry to hear about this.
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Did she have a child with her? Or were they there, two hostile adults, with the pink Hummer and no child?
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That playground has been the scene of numerous incidents and its unfortunate that parents dont have a safe place for their kids to play. As for it being a "public toy" , thats what kids do; they play with other kids and other kids toys. How could've this whole thing been avoided?
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Dekker Dad,
I would talk to John, the Parks employee about this incident. He is very kind and concerned about the safety of that playground. THanks for the heads up, I will steer clear of that couple. -
My wife and I encountered this same woman back in the fall of last year. Our son was almost 2 then and go's after anything with wheels, New or old. He ran over and started just touching the pink hummer when she approached us and said to get away from it. We apologized for our son touching it and walked away. She kept going on and on about how it was her kids. We kept telling her he didn't harm the toy and that he's ONLY toddler. But she kept up with insults. We left the park because the vibe there was way to intense. Her daughter looked like a very unhappy child.
John is the guy to go to about this. He knows every person that comes into that park. Please let him know and he will find out who it is and he'll talk to them.
In the mean time....
STAY AWAY FROM THE PINK HUMMER! -
I would have been surprised if a woman like that didn't have a history . . .
thanks for the replies - even getting a bit of feedback online helps level the experience out. It's a lot to ask just to raise kids day-to-day without pointless conflict, you know? We'll talk to John next time we see him. -
She and her partner definitely despise gentrification, IMO.
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LincolnAnnex - There are a number of toys that are the "property" of Underhill Playground and free for all kids to share. Some of them are big and flashy though most are not. In addition, most parents encourage their kids to share toys they bring to the park - and most parents don't bring toys to the park that they don't want to share. I don't think DekkerDad's assumption that the kid could play with the toy without starting a war was flawed at all.
DekkerDad - I'm sorry you felt threatened. I hope you come back to the playground! There's also an Underhill Playground group (you can find it on Yahoo) that you can post your story to, to warn others and to gather support. -
This is truly an unfortunate incident and I'm sorry to hear it. However knowing that playground for some fifteen years and being aware of changes that have occurred there, I wonder if this woman's ignorance and belligerence might not be interpreted/perceived as even more rude and dangerous than they actually were because of class/color. l, my assumption is that she was one of the black lower income neighborhood residents and you (and your family) are not. She's feeling disempowered in her neighborhood (where trust me even her class peers think she's ignorant) and white families make good target practice for rage. Does this make her a menace, yes. Does this make her a person who should be placed under police supervision, no.
That said, I feel you should claim your spot on the playground. And while you should not engage her, don't let her make you and the other parents cower either. If you could see past the culturally normative limitations, you'd see her differently (though not more favorably) and she'd seem less of a threat. -
I just had a little fantasy of going down to the park with a big ass mallet and smashing the fucking thing to pieces(after all children were safely far away playing on something else and too distracted to even pay attention)
Problem solved(in my fantasy world of temporary insanity)!
Could you imagine the looks on the faces of the scary/belligerent couple? That's of course, if I didn't get shot or stabbed. -
I see the story already has been posted on the Underhill Playground group.
wasabihot - i get where you're coming from and i didn't witness the incident. but taking dekkerdad's description as true, it seems like a majority of people felt threatened by this couple. to my mind, when someone is clearly intentionally trying to put people in fear of their own and their children's physical safety by being aggressive and enraged, and people do, in fact, feel threatened, the "culturally normative limitations" become irrelevant. without getting too college-dorm on you, i would go so far as to say that to ask people to "see past" what these people are actually doing is paternalistic and condescending and not a good model for a functioning society. the response should be tailored to the circumstances of course, but i don't see how calling 911 to have the police diffuse the situation is at all out of scale.
that said, i think dekkerdad's approach is just right. no need to freak out, just avoid the dastardly pink barbie hummer. -
Maybe that's the problem, that so many people feel threatened by her. SHE'S AT A PLAYGROUND WITH A PINK BARBIE HUMMER, I'm sorry, that just doesn't strike me as someone to be incredibly threatened by, lol. Could it not be the case that she's feeling the same thing - threatened - that every time she goes to the playground parents don't respect her or her children's posessions. You obviously viewed her as 'ghetto' and her husband as a 'thug', so is it for us to believe that you treated her any differently than you percieved her? In honesty, if it were me, I would have grabbed my kid and told him not to touch that kids toy, period. Some people are weird about their stuff , but who are you to tell another adult that they're being rude and selfish - lol? Unless you are some combination of law enforcement/childrearing expert YOU were completley out of line. It sounds to me that you instigAted the incident and are now rallying the troops to circle around you based upon how you perceived her because you know people will believe you - not based on what she did because it sounded like you did the same thing. Way to teach the kids inclusiveness and conflict resolution.
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If she's so low-income, why does she have a pink Barbie Hummer? I'm sort of middle class and my 19 year old daughter still jokes that I denied her a Barbie car when she was a toddler. It's fucking provocative to bring a toy like that to a playground. Naturally, all the kids will want to play with it. Sounds to me like the mother is looking for a fight.
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So....
Not sharing a toy at a playground teaches "inclusiveness"?
And continuing to threaten someone after they did what you asked teaches "conflict resolution"?
I don't think you need to be in law enforcement or a child rearing expert to tell if someone is rude or selfish. Taking the kid off of the toy should've ended it there, but it didn't. -
Superclam wrote: So....
My point exactly...they both behaved inappropriately. She shouldn't have continued to threaten and the other shouldn't have admonished...just walk away. Is it really worth it? No you don't need to be an expert to opine about someone's personality but you do in order to tell them about their self. It just shows that this woman though she was better than the Hummer woman, which she probably communicated throughout their interaction...that's how things get amplified.
Not sharing a toy at a playground teaches "inclusiveness"?
And continuing to threaten someone after they did what you asked teaches "conflict resolution"?
I don't think you need to be in law enforcement or a child rearing expert to tell if someone is rude or selfish. Taking the kid off of the toy should've ended it there, but it didn't. -
antigone wrote: If she's so low-income, why does she have a pink Barbie Hummer? I'm sort of middle class and my 19 year old daughter still jokes that I denied her a Barbie car when she was a toddler. It's fucking provocative to bring a toy like that to a playground. Naturally, all the kids will want to play with it. Sounds to me like the mother is looking for a fight.
If bringing a toy to the playground is looking for a fight I don't know what the world is coming to..."gimme that car or I'll call the cops on your mom"...you may as well just knife people who skip you in line. HATE THAT! -
antigone wrote: If she's so low-income, why does she have a pink Barbie Hummer? I'm sort of middle class and my 19 year old daughter still jokes that I denied her a Barbie car when she was a toddler. It's fucking provocative to bring a toy like that to a playground. Naturally, all the kids will want to play with it. Sounds to me like the mother is looking for a fight.
It's TOTALLY provocative. I'm not saying that kids should have free reign of all other kids toys, but this woman and her husband are obviously belligerant assholes cruising for a confrontation. FUCK THEM op- go to the park and go about your business and don't let them frighten you off.
Unfortunately their poor child is going to suffer when she wonders why all the other kids are steering clear of her because of her ignorant, idiot parents.
If they continue to harrass you, then call the police again. You took your child away from the toy that ANY kid is going to gravitate towards, and they still wanted to get in your face? Total douche bags that don't deserve any understanding or "looking past" some issues that they might have. Thier issue is that they are fucking ignorant and think they can get away with bullying and threatening people. Show them different. -
I just caugt my misspelling of "belligerent" :oops:
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Uh-oh! The colonizers have arrived at Underhill Playground. You're in control now. Why not just put up a sign that says, "No Blacks Allowed?"
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RBG wrote: Uh-oh! The colonizers have arrived at Underhill Playground. You're in control now. Why not just put up a sign that says, "No Blacks Allowed?"
How do you know WHAT color anybody posting on this board are? What, you don't think black people can determine bad behavior when they see it?
You don't get it at all. -
beeninbrooklyn wrote: Maybe that's the problem, that so many people feel threatened by her. SHE'S AT A PLAYGROUND WITH A PINK BARBIE HUMMER, I'm sorry, that just doesn't strike me as someone to be incredibly threatened by, lol. Could it not be the case that she's feeling the same thing - threatened - that every time she goes to the playground parents don't respect her or her children's posessions. You obviously viewed her as 'ghetto' and her husband as a 'thug', so is it for us to believe that you treated her any differently than you percieved her? In honesty, if it were me, I would have grabbed my kid and told him not to touch that kids toy, period. Some people are weird about their stuff , but who are you to tell another adult that they're being rude and selfish - lol? Unless you are some combination of law enforcement/childrearing expert YOU were completley out of line. It sounds to me that you instigAted the incident and are now rallying the troops to circle around you based upon how you perceived her because you know people will believe you - not based on what she did because it sounded like you did the same thing. Way to teach the kids inclusiveness and conflict resolution.
If two separate people are to be believed, they both apologized and tried to walked away while the woman continued her harangue. In the OP's account, the woman's male companion stepped into the fray shortly after when just words were being excahnged.
Walking away is always the preferable action, but when you're in a park and you have a small and slow moving kid with you, having some person coming at you is going to provoke a fight or flight reflex in people.
Now I know that I added the "coming at you" aspect of the story, the OP didn't specify if the woman's continued harangue was from a standing position or if she was following the retreating parent and child - but in MY overactive imagination - it read like she was coming at the OP and the kid.
She's itching for a fight, whether because she's batshit crazy or because she feels she's being overwhelmed by outsiders in her home or blah blah blah - she's starting shit in a place where children play.
If other kids keep touching her sweet ass Barbie car, then she needs to either
1) stop bringing the fucking car,
2) learn to count to 10, take a deep breath, ask nicely that no kid touches the fucking car, and let it go, or
3) keep starting shit until someone either knocks the shit out of her, wrecks her fucking car or she gets carted off in handcuffs while her kid spends the night in an ACS shelter.
Whether she knows it or not, because shit used to be different in the past or she doesn't get out much, general kid park rules are today in 2009 -
If you or your kid leaves their toy unattended another kid's gonna play w/ it. Period. Hell even if your kid's playing w/ the toy, other kids are gonna walk up and wanna play with it, because they're KIDS.
OP, I feel for you. I hope I would've kept my shit together if it happened to me, but my blood pressure rose just from reading your post and responding to it now.
Basically, the crazy woman is picking a fight when someone's w/ their kid, which is like picking a fight with someone who has their hands tied behind their backs. -
here we go...
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Subject: Re: incident at Underhill Playground
Dekker Dad wrote: I took my daughter away and tried to explain.
Key words: If these people are to be believed. She took her daughter away AND explained? which one was it? If someone was that belligerent and I had a small child I would say sorry and walk off...She is well within her rights to say the kid couldn't touch her kids stuff...period. Her misbehavior doesn't justify the other. This mom engaged for absolutlely no reason. If she truly were belligerent this could have been a much grimmer turn of events. It is not worth it. No one is saying she has to stop going to the park, and I don't think it's even wrong to speak to a mediator about her aka John, but to call the cops and basically criminalize poor playground behavior, well that just doesn't make for a good neighbor. -
Subject: Re: incident at Underhill Playground
beeninbrooklyn wrote: [quote=Dekker Dad]I took my daughter away and tried to explain.
Key words: If these people are to be believed. She took her daughter away AND explained? which one was it? If someone was that belligerent and I had a small child I would say sorry and walk off...She is well within her rights to say the kid couldn't touch her kids stuff...period. Her misbehavior doesn't justify the other. This mom engaged for absolutlely no reason. If she truly were belligerent this could have been a much grimmer turn of events. It is not worth it. No one is saying she has to stop going to the park, and I don't think it's even wrong to speak to a mediator about her aka John, but to call the cops and basically criminalize poor playground behavior, well that just doesn't make for a good neighbor.
Are you joking? Since when is trying to explain something an invitation for someone to get in your's and your child's face? "If she truly were belligerent"- You haven't heard enough from the OP AND from the post from "God" for you to have a clear picture of this? What is wrong with you? -
ChristinafromBklyn wrote: [quote=RBG]Uh-oh! The colonizers have arrived at Underhill Playground. You're in control now. Why not just put up a sign that says, "No Blacks Allowed?"
How do you know WHAT color anybody posting on this board are? What, you don't think black people can determine bad behavior when they see it?
You don't get it at all.
Christina - I agree completely in spirit, and who in the eat buhjezus wants crazy people around their kids. But the original post smacked of a disdain that's hard to miss...like I'm so sick of the people in this neighborhood I'm going to call the cops on them kind of disdain. I mean "ghetto" and "thug" really? Was Rush Limbaugh coaching her? -
beeninbrooklyn wrote: [quote=ChristinafromBklyn][quote=RBG]Uh-oh! The colonizers have arrived at Underhill Playground. You're in control now. Why not just put up a sign that says, "No Blacks Allowed?"
How do you know WHAT color anybody posting on this board are? What, you don't think black people can determine bad behavior when they see it?
You don't get it at all.
Christina - I agree completely in spirit, and who in the eat buhjezus wants crazy people around their kids. But the original post smacked of a disdain that's hard to miss...like I'm so sick of the people in this neighborhood I'm going to call the cops on them kind of disdain. I mean "ghetto" and "thug" really? Was Rush Limbaugh coaching her?
I really think she is just calling it like she sees it. I can't stand ninnies either with "the sky is falling" attitudes, but I think this is clearly not the case. Listen, coming from a black person or a white person if the shoe fits and someone(whatever their color) is acting "ghetto" or "thug" then they deserve to have it used when describing their behavior.
I think it's an exaggeration to say that "Limbaugh" coached her. -
Beeninbrooklyn, you don't need to be coached by Rush Limbaugh to feel threatened. Class differences can lead to differences in manner of speech and word choices which may be perfectly common to one speaker and terribly frightening to another.
Imagine, if you will, a young adult from 1950 Westport, CT arguing with a young adult from 1950 Bensonhurst or Bay Ridge. Ok? No race difference... but very different class and style.
The OP did not suggest that he got up into the belligerent mother's face. When her scary-looking guy joined in, and became aggressive and threatening, the OP, holding his 2 year old in his arms, had every right and every reason to be terrified.
He never said or suggested he was sick of the people in the neighborhood... just of the couple who harassed him and his kid in the playground.
If you find that troublesome, I submit that your reaction appears to be based on class, rather than on the specific facts of this interaction. -
I propose that Brookynian charges $25/year for access to this post!
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arches wrote: I propose that Brookynian charges $25/year for access to this post!
I propose that those who would rather discuss the merits of ketchup vs mustard on hotdogs begin having a debate here.
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