Baby on the way...

xlizellx · September 2014

So as many of you know, I'm due with baby #1 in 19 days. That said, what would people recommend I make sure I do before this terrifying/glorious event occurs? Restaurants to try? Shows to see? Museums to visit? I feel equally torn about how to spend these remaining child-free days: taking advantage of NYC and all it offers to do things I won't get to do for a while...or doing absolutely nothing since I probably won't get to do that for a while either. The latter has been winning out most days, but if you have suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

We're in Ditmas Park/Flatbush, but if your suggestions are for elsewhere, let's hear them! We spend a lot of time back in Crown Heights and Prospect Heights still.

whynot_31 · September 2014

As you are aware, I take a strange enjoyment in photos of construction sites.

In a way, you are presently a construction site. Could I get you to use some of your remaining idle time to take a photo?

You wouldn't have to show your face. You could show us a POV shot of your feet. You should show us what your profile looks as a shadow on the sidewalk.

The opportunities are endless.

xlizellx · September 2014

Last weekend we visited Berg'n.

xlizellx · September 2014

I like this shadow picture idea. but it would mean leaving the house in this weather...ew

whynot_31 · September 2014

Hopefully it will get cooler over the next 19 days, and you can get out long enough to give us a photo of you in front of some popular spot in your new locale, Ditmas Park.

This could turn into a game of Where's Waldo.

newguy88 · September 2014

I love love the MOMA so that for museums. I'd say go grab a pizza and a glass of wine at Juliana's. Is it still considered OK for expecting moms to have a glass of wine? Last I heard it was but I, not unsurprisingly, don't follow such things closely.

Also enjoy all the quiet Netflix nights you can. Best wishes for you and your little one!

xlizellx · September 2014

Thanks! and yes...a glass of wine is A-ok!

mugofmead111 · September 2014

I saw a poster in the Flatbush Food Coop that said there is going to be a street fair on Cortelyou on September 14. It claims to be family-friendly.

I dunno whether you'd be up for the Atlantic Antic at the end of the month.

The Brooklyn Museum is open late on Thursday evenings (and Fridays?) I believe. I think the little famer's market stand is still going on outside of the Museum on Thursday evenings.

xlizellx · September 2014

I saw a poster in the Flatbush Food Coop that said there is going to be a street fair on Cortelyou on September 14. It claims to be family-friendly.

I dunno whether you'd be up for the Atlantic Antic at the end of the month.

The Brooklyn Museum is open late on Thursday evenings (and Fridays?) I believe. I think the little famer's market stand is still going on outside of the Museum on Thursday evenings.

It's insane how long it's been since I've been to the BKMuseum. I was a member for years and used to go every week -- now it's probably been over a year. Thanks for the ideas!

whynot_31 · September 2014

I suspect you are pregnant to the degree that someone will give you a seat on the subway or bus.

..perhaps only because they are afraid of the social consequences of not doing so.

xlizellx · September 2014

I suspect you are pregnant to the degree that someone will give you a seat on the subway or bus.

..perhaps only because they are afraid of the social consequences of not doing so.

99% of the time that's true. I have been keeping a list of the demographic of the person who gives up their seat. For people planning to get pregnant and wanting a seat, stand in front of women for a better likelyhood of getting a seat - men rarely get up.

xlizellx · September 2014

I suspect you are pregnant to the degree that someone will give you a seat on the subway or bus.

..perhaps only because they are afraid of the social consequences of not doing so.

99% of the time that's true. I have been keeping a list of the demographic of the person who gives up their seat. For people planning to get pregnant and wanting a seat, stand in front of women for a better likelyhood of getting a seat - men rarely get up.

heightsmom · September 2014

Mani/pedi and long, leisurely meals. These will become rather infrequent in this new, exciting chapter.

Also, don't commit yourself to 19 days. It could be 1, or it could be 30! Either way, all will work out.

Good luck!

Esperanza · September 2014

Go to the Bronx Zoo and the Botanic Garden up there. Or Orchard Beach. It's hard to get up there after having a baby. Or if you can get up to Beacon, that's a lovely place.

mike dunlap · September 2014

That said, what would people recommend I make sure I do before this terrifying/glorious event occurs?

Relax, sleep in, do nothing. You'll miss the ability to do those more than anything else.

Davina · September 2014

I agree in doing something that's a little further away. Once i had the babies I preferred to do things in the neighborhood - easier to get home in case baby did not agree with the outing!

We did actually go out eating a few times with a newborn; we went to places where we could sit outside, like the backyard at Centanni (sp?). It was great food, not too crowded - it felt more spacious than inside - and not too loud. I would carry the baby on me in a baby carrier. When they are newborn they sleep so much anyway and the baby slept through the entire thing. So can still do things and get out, to a certain degree. When the child gets a bit older it is a different story though!

tateinbk · September 2014

I also echo to not get too attached to your due date. It can be really frustrating to go beyond it, especially if you go almost 2 weeks over.

Although, if you're walking all over the place that could help move things up. I suggest seeing a concert somewhere.

I held informal studies of who would stand for me and found middle aged, wealthier looking women were unlikely to stand as were young men. But slightly older men would. Hipsters were the absolute least likely to stand.

Go see your friends too. And enjoy your glass of wine with a movie that you can watch all the way through (with pee breaks of course). Also, anyone who offers to do stuff for you after, get their info and what they're willing to do. You can take time now to draw up a schedule. People want to help but don't really know how. And you're not going to be up for cleaning the bathroom or making dinner. Enjoy!

xlizellx · September 2014

Thanks for all of the responses!

crownheightster · September 2014

See friends, take naps, read books, go to a nice, quiet restaurant for dinner, see a show or hit up a concert where kids are decidedly NOT welcome. Get as much sleep as humanly possible. If you have any niggling things that bother you around the house-that pile of stuff to bring to goodwill, the overstuffed closet, the unhung pictures, the dirty fridge-attack those things now. You will be home a lot with the new baby, and anything that annoys you now will infuriate you when you are up at 3am and staring at that stroller that you can't fit into the closet because you did not clean it out when you had time or mental capacity. If you plan to breastfeed, get the number for a lactation consultant so that you can arrange to have her do a house call the day after you return home with the baby...you'll feel a little alone if you were at the hospital and has nurses helping you, and the visit will be useful! Stock up on easily prepared food, granola bars, yogurts.

Esperanza · September 2014

Sleep in the last trimester?! Hahahahaha!!! A good carrier it great for local strolls after the wee ones arrives is a life-saver. Along with a cover or blanket to go over it. You can eat then, with wee one still strapped in (hopefully sleeping), and have a built in napkin:)

Davina · September 2014

What Esperanza said....not that easy to sleep when one is overly pregnant.

Go to the movie theater! I haven't been to the movies in years. The cost of a nanny is pretty high and it feels like a waste to pay 100 bucks for a nanny just so we can go to the theater and watch a movie. But there is something about the atmosphere in a theater that I like so much.

whynot_31 · September 2014

I believe it is now time to start predicting the actual date of birth.

As stated above, she is expecting on Sept 25th (Sept 6th plus 19 days).

I will go first, and predict Sept 23rd.

Esperanza · September 2014

Can we start a betting collection on PayPal?

whynot_31 · September 2014

You are welcome to set such a thing up. As a result of being friends with @xlizellx , I see no need to ask her permission.

...that would just give her a false sense of control. She should give up any and all illusions of control.

tateinbk · September 2014

October 3rd.

Schmu · September 2014

Going to the movies is the one thing I truly miss.

Esperanza · September 2014

I miss going to the loo in peace.

xlizellx · September 2014

I miss going to the loo in peace.

I pee often enough that I'm not seeing a need to add it to my pre-baby to-do list :-)

Esperanza · September 2014

Ah, but you do it without an audience right now:) Toddlers find watching mommy soooo very fascinating.

Welcome to the soon to be reality:
http://www.dumpaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/moms-going-to-the-bathroom-with-kids.jpg

http://funnyasduck.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/funny-bathroom-break-kid-baby-hand-door-find-you-pics.jpg

mike dunlap · September 2014

http://funnyasduck.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/funny-bathroom-break-kid-baby-hand-door-find-you-pics.jpg

That is great.

I do not get what they think they are missing, but they should know from sharing small public bathroom stalls it is nothing special.

whynot_31 · September 2014

So far, only @tateinbk has provided an additional guess.

C'mon Brooklynian! We are having a baby!

crownheightster · September 2014

September 21!

I miss the movies, as well...I loved going to the movies while pregnant because I could put the popcorn bucket on my belly for convenience.

homeowner · September 2014

Since it's a gridlock alert day, I'm going with September 24th.

whynot_31 · September 2014

A quick check of her Facebook indicates that @xlizellx is still pregnant.

xlizellx · September 2014

Yup. I am.

heightsmom · September 2014

I'm going with Oct. 1st.

whynot_31 · September 2014

Sept 19th: @xlizellx is more pregnant than ever.

xlizellx · September 2014

Indeed I am.

This weekend (hopefully my last one pregnant???) so far has been a good mix of going out and staying in:

Friday -- beer launch/lots of water drinking at Sycamore

Saturday -- went to Roberta's for the first time for some pizza and then came back home to watch a movie. We thought about going to the theater but we kinda hate movie theaters....too many people talking, uncomfortable seats, and people's cell phones lighting up/ringing. This also allowed me to pee three times throughout the movie without missing anything

Today -- Going for a walk to the Flatbush Frolic.

I want to get some cleaning done based on what @crownheightster said, but my energy is a bit low today....

Esperanza · September 2014

I predict you'll go into labor today or tomorrow.

tateinbk · September 2014

If you didn't organize in the second trimester, it's probably not going to happen for another year or so.

And you probably won't care either.

Get lots of foot and ankle massages!

crownheightster · September 2014

At this point, don't worry about the organization and cleaning--take naps!

xlizellx · September 2014

Ok, I took a nap. Good advice :-)

whynot_31 · September 2014

I believe it is now time to start predicting the actual date of birth.

As stated above, she is expecting on Sept 25th (Sept 6th plus 19 days).

I will go first, and predict Sept 23rd.

As a result of it being 3:40 PM, I have only 8 hours and 20 minutes until I am out of the running.

southeast · September 2014

@whynot_31 - Offer to go on a nice loooong walk with @xlizellx; maybe a private tour of CH. That may just do the trick.

Esperanza · September 2014

Rose hip oil, dancing, walking, or chili pepper might also help!

xlizellx · September 2014

sorry, Whynot, it's the 24th and there's no baby yet. Did get some membranes stripped though...so laying here with a heating pad, pain killers, and waiting for tacos to be delivered.

whynot_31 · September 2014

Since it's a gridlock alert day, I'm going with September 24th.

@Homeowner is almost out as well.

xlizellx · September 2014

...And by delivered I mean I sent my husband to Gueros to get my favorite food -- fried avocado tacos and their nachos....nomnomnom

whynot_31 · September 2014

We should have put this thread on Huff Post or something with a lot of traffic. If you don't have it tomorrow, you have to wait until the next guess.

That's @heightsmom ;

She guessed October 1st.

xlizellx · September 2014

NO!! I want it to be one of the next 4 days...as a teacher I have this Thursday and Friday off, so I pretended today was my last day...I'm hoping that it is actually the case and I don't have to return Monday.

tateinbk · September 2014

Are you getting paid FMLA or are you having to go on disability? If you are getting paid, you could ask your OB/Midwife if you're cleared to work. There is a chance you could be on disability now before FMLA kicks in.

Davina · September 2014

I can help you out with my good karma-influence. I hereby predict baby will come this Saturday.

Esperanza · September 2014

Ha, and then you wouldn't have to lessen plan over the four day weekend!

crownheightster · September 2014

What I did to get things moving was scrub the kitchen floor. Like, squatting on hands and knees, with a scrub brush, I made that tile grout white again. 6 hours later my water broke and baby was born four hours after that. Try it if you hit Saturday and start to get worried!

tateinbk · September 2014

Ha. I was also struck with an incredible urge to scrub the kitchen floor while massively pregnant. I think I was somewhere near 40.5 weeks at that time. I worked with a scrub brush and toothbrush to really detail it. The only thing I succeeded in doing was scrubbing off the shiny part of the linoleum and seriously worrying my significant other. It was another almost week and a half before I went into labor. But sure, try scrubbing the floor. Worst case scenario you have a clean floor and a worried husband.

xlizellx · September 2014

I'm allowed to take up to "6 weeks paid" using my saved-up sick days. I luckily have more than 6 weeks of sick leave saved up. That said, if I start my 6 weeks prior to the baby coming, I just simply have less time with my baby after she's born. Man, America sucks at babies.

Scrubbing the kitchen and bathroom may be on today's to-do list...

Esperanza · September 2014

Yeah, America it's sad that having a baby is treated as a disability. Too bad Sweden doesn't need English teachers. Or Finland.

tateinbk · September 2014

xlizellx, it sounds like you won't be using disability then? Look it up, but I think once your sick days are all used up, if you're still not able to go back to work, you could go on disability. It's not full pay, but it's better than unpaid. Do those 6 weeks count for your FMLA leave or are those 3 months separate? This country is horrific with maternity and paternity leave. I would rather not Sweden though, they have really strict and obnoxious laws about what you can name your child. I'd be completely down with Finland though and quite happy with Germany off the top of my head.

In Germany you would be on your compulsory paid 6 weeks maternity leave for before the due date. You are also required to take 8 weeks paid leave afterwards. Then, either mom or dad can take parental leave. If time off is shared there is a freaking year of paid leave. If mom stays home for a paid year dad then gets two months paid leave when the year is up. Parents can continue working part time and still receive the parental pay. Additionally, your job is legally protected and must be returned to you for up to three years away. If you choose to not take your full year in one go, you have a total of three years you can take off until the child is 8 years old.

Yeah. It's completely barbaric here.

Esperanza · September 2014

Yup, America is still in the caveman era for having a child. I'd love to have the Finnish box that comes when one has a baby. Free baby stuff!

xlizellx · September 2014

xlizellx, it sounds like you won't be using disability then? Look it up, but I think once your sick days are all used up, if you're still not able to go back to work, you could go on disability. It's not full pay, but it's better than unpaid. Do those 6 weeks count for your FMLA leave or are those 3 months separate? This country is horrific with maternity and paternity leave. I would rather not Sweden though, they have really strict and obnoxious laws about what you can name your child. I'd be completely down with Finland though and quite happy with Germany off the top of my head.

In Germany you would be on your compulsory paid 6 weeks maternity leave for before the due date. You are also required to take 8 weeks paid leave afterwards. Then, either mom or dad can take parental leave. If time off is shared there is a freaking year of paid leave. If mom stays home for a paid year dad then gets two months paid leave when the year is up. Parents can continue working part time and still receive the parental pay. Additionally, your job is legally protected and must be returned to you for up to three years away. If you choose to not take your full year in one go, you have a total of three years you can take off until the child is 8 years old.

Yeah. It's completely barbaric here.

I'll have sick days still in my bank...but you're only allowed to use 6 weeks of them even if you have more. They run at the same time as FMLA so I'm allowed 12 weeks with 6 paid and 6 unpaid - even if I had 12 weeks of sick leave saved up.

One thing the City does for its teachers (with enough years of experience) that is great is they will save my job until my kid is ready for pre-k (no pay, etc.) so at least I could return to work if I took off the 4 years prior to pre-k. That said, this city is way too expensive for us to do that.

Davina · September 2014

Yup. Maternity leave sucks in this country.

http://theweek.com/article/index/263819/how-america-ended-up-with-the-worst-maternity-leave-laws-on-earth

whynot_31 · September 2014

We should have put this thread on Huff Post or something with a lot of traffic. If you don't have it tomorrow, you have to wait until the next guess.

That's @heightsmom ;
She guessed October 1st.

A little less than 5 days to go.

heightsmom · September 2014

To get that baby out, start walking. Then, walk some more.

crownheightster · September 2014

Before baby came, I had roscoe's soppresata pizza, then Bombay masala, and the brunch at chavelas.

xlizellx · September 2014

I did a lot of walking today. Still no baby.

tsarina · September 2014

1st babies are usually late. perhaps a subconcious fear of labor on the mom's part, despite the eagerness to get the pregnancy over with. (used to work for a midwife)

booklaw · September 2014

At the suggestion of her ob-gyn, my wife took a tablespoon of castor oil.

She gave birth several hours later.

Esperanza · September 2014

Rose Hip Oil. Lovely stuff. Also calms:)

Davina · September 2014

Baby will come out eventually....it's not like they stay there forever (it just feels like it in the end)

whynot_31 · September 2014

Update Sept 29: @xlizellx remains pregnant. More than ever....

Davina · September 2014

I'll make a new prediction. Tuesday.

What is the prize?

whynot_31 · September 2014

At the next gathering, people will tell the winner "congradulations" if the winner reminds us.

However, if @xlizellx shows up, all eyes will be on mini xlizellx.

...and you will be dissed.

whynot_31 · September 2014

I am getting reports that mini xlizellx has entered the world.

Photos will be posted when they become available.

newguy88 · September 2014

Thats wonderful news! Are mother and child well?

Esperanza · September 2014

Yeah! Many happy returns to sleep in two years:)

Davina · September 2014

Congrats! :-)

whynot_31 · September 2014

Mother and child (and even dad) are all well.

Dad has published a few photos via Facebook.

I suspect that mom will post photos here soon, she has been busy....

homeowner · September 2014

xlizellx 2.0!

whynot_31 · September 2014

Mom has granted me permission to post baby:

Altogether: AWE.

Esperanza · September 2014

Adorable! Aweeeeee! The youngest (and newest) Brooklynian.

booklaw · September 2014

Name?

tateinbk · September 2014

Awwwwwm how totally adorable. Congratulations xlizellx!

crownheightster · September 2014

Baby !!!!!

whynot_31 · September 2014

One more:

Davina · September 2014

How cute! And that's a lot of hair!

newguy88 · September 2014

Awwwee!

stacey · October 2014

So freakin cute!!!! I need to bite those cheeks! Congrats and hope mom is feeling good also xoxo

whatchuwant · October 2014

Congrats, Liz! Good job mama- here's to abundant happiness and a wealth of health for your new life's journey.

xlizellx · October 2014

Thank you all! It's been a whirl-wind of a week but it's been amazing as well. Even left the house twice so far for the two important events in a child's life - first pediatric appointment and first trip to the Home Brew store. Bitter and Esters is vital for the sanity of our home

whynot_31 · October 2014

Are both you and child well?

Did Bitter and Esters breath a sigh of relief knowing that their business would again improve after its 9 month lull?

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