How to piss off a Park Slope resident

#85 buy a historic townhouse on a nice block, demolish and replace with a Fedders Special to max out the available FAR, repeat. Call the neighbors regularly to see if they'll sell their air rights.

#86 Threaten to kick both their mom's butts.

Subject: #87

#87 Tell them that during your first of many purchases of brownstone buildings you outbid the other guy by offering one more dollar on 40G

#88 Walk down 7th avenue, and while looking in each realtor's window along the way, exclaim loudly to your partner "I don't think we should live here, it's not very diverse".

#89 Tell a local mom that her little Emma or Noah isn't actually suffering from ADD, OCD, ODD, or Aspergers -- all the kid needs is a good old-fashioned swat in the ass like a REAL parent would give.

Just post something on this board. Anything will do. Someone will be pissed off.

WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! :evil: :twisted: :evil: :twisted: :evil:

WhyFi wrote: WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! :evil: :twisted: :evil: :twisted: :evil:

You'd understand if you weren't so gentrified! Back in MY day...!

# 90

Call them cult loving , tea lounge stealing , dog pooping bastards !

Em26, see #77.

New #90...

Call yourself Smartmom and refer to yourself in the third person. Regale the neighborhood with mundane tales of your unexceptional and irritating rugrats.

Edited to add:

Now that Em26 has changed #90, there's no need for a new #90, so this is actually #91. Just so y'all know.

LOOOOOOL , I noticed and already edited
#-o

Em26 wrote: # 90

Call them cult loving , tea lounge stealing , dog pooping bastards !

You saw someone pooping out little dogs? Are they pure-bred? You could make some cash off that.

Just kidding. I know what you mean.

Brooke Lynn Knight wrote: Em26, see #77.

New #90...

Call yourself Smartmom and refer to yourself in the third person. Regale the neighborhood with mundane tales of your unexceptional and irritating rugrats.

Edited to add:

Now that Em26 has changed #90, there's no need for a new #90, so this is actually #91. Just so y'all know.

irritating rugrats" ... and unemployed slacker husband living off her trust fund.

Tremendous thread. However, I thought that "pissed off self importance" was merely the natural state for slopers. So you don't really have to do anything.

People, we can't let this die before we make the century -- 100 posts. I think if we reach 101, we should publish it as a free pamphlet and distribute it to a waiting city.

#92 (based on personal experience) Put squirrel deterrents on your newly planted, expensive perennials so they don't get dug up before they have a chance to root.

(Result: Lecture on how the "squirrels were here first." Really? I've been in my house for 10 years. Lifespan of a grey squirrel: 3-4 years. Ergo, I was here first, so shut your sanctimonious soy-hole.)

Brooke Lynn Knight wrote: People, we can't let this die before we make the century -- 100 posts. I think if we reach 101, we should publish it as a free pamphlet and distribute it to a waiting city.

#92 (based on personal experience) Put squirrel deterrents on your newly planted, expensive perennials so they don't get dug up before they have a chance to root.

(Result: Lecture on how the "squirrels were here first." Really? I've been in my house for 10 years. Lifespan of a grey squirrel: 3-4 years. Ergo, I was here first, so shut your sanctimonious soy-hole.)

ummm . . . apologies for the digression: what's a good squirrel deterrent? I spread pieces of chicken wire around and try to cover them with mulch, but it still looks awful. Got something that works well but doesn't smell and won't poison the neighbors' cats?

I have my methods. Moth balls, pepper or garlic powder or spray haven't worked for me. Chicken wire works, but you have to anchor it, or they'll just dig up the wire & then your plants.

I use canes cut from thorny plants. I scatter them around. Seems to cut the invasions somewhat.

Now if only I could find a humane way to deter the squirrel-loving sob sisters.

Nearly a year later...'bout time this thread gets a few more.

#93 = Tell them that sorry, the notion of asking where's the "Park Slope" of Charlotte NC, Boulder CO or Basra, Iraq just sounds a bit silly. Well, maybe not the last one. Well played, that one.

#94 = Send out the small, light bundle of school acceptance letters and wait-list letters, along with the huge rafts of non-acceptance letters.

#95 = As a joke, install several (fake) parking meters in the few spots remaining along 6th and 7th Ave in the South Slope.

#96 = Stare down 7th or 5th Ave sidewalk and shout "OBAMA SUCKS!" Quickly turn 180 degrees and shout "HILLARY SUCKS!" Duck into nearest real estate office doorway and see what ensues.

#97 = Ask them to do the math on how old they will be when one of their three adopted children hit college.

jeffrey wrote: Nearly a year later...'bout time this thread gets a few more.

#93 = Tell them that sorry, the notion of asking where's the "Park Slope" of Charlotte NC, Boulder CO or Basra, Iraq just sounds a bit silly. Well, maybe not the last one. Well played, that one.

#94 = Send out the small, light bundle of school acceptance letters and wait-list letters, along with the huge rafts of non-acceptance letters.

#95 = As a joke, install several (fake) parking meters in the few spots remaining along 6th and 7th Ave in the South Slope.

#96 = Stare down 7th or 5th Ave sidewalk and shout "OBAMA SUCKS!" Quickly turn 180 degrees and shout "HILLARY SUCKS!" Duck into nearest real estate office doorway and see what ensues.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

That is some funny stuff.

Please do not make us wait a whole year before you come up with some more.

Tell them Dunkin Donuts Has acquired Starbucks

sterling2000 wrote: #97 = Ask them to do the math on how old they will be when one of their three adopted children hit college.

#99(?) = Vote McCain (who should also consult #97)

sterling2000 wrote: [quote=sterling2000]#97 = Ask them to do the math on how old they will be when one of their three adopted children hit college.

#99(?) = Vote McCain (who should also consult #97)

#100 - announce via posters at the co-op that barack obama supports genetically modified food.

Announce that the "Healthy Choices Week" at 321 is sponsored by Monsanto.

Glad to see this thread resurrected!

#102: Wear one of these T-shirts, preferably to the co-op:









Or, best of all...

Actually, it'd be fun to wear one of those shirts to a Madonna concert. But you'd pretty much have to have a trust fund to be able to afford to go.

#103 Who needs another eating place on 7th Ave and 3rd St. What we need is an Exxon Station.

alafairnadia wrote: [quote=sterling2000][quote=sterling2000]#97 = Ask them to do the math on how old they will be when one of their three adopted children hit college.

#99(?) = Vote McCain (who should also consult #97)

#100 - announce via posters at the co-op that barack obama supports genetically modified food.
Actually, as was established ad nauseum in the GM foods at the co-op thread, most co-op members have no problem with GM food, to the consternation of a a small and very vocal minority.

#104 respond to those who tell you they live in PS with, "Oh, that's out in Jersey somewhere, right?"

Subject: The best way

to piss off a Park Slope resident?

Here's one:

Try your best to be a complete moron by continuously trying to reinforce the notion that all Park Slope residents are the same, which may be best accomplished by compiling a list of almost witty one-liners on some dumb-ass Internet message board, and then pretending like you've done something either worthwhile or clever! Awesome!

Please, please somebody (this means you, sympathetic Russian hacker!) launch a denial of service attack on every single Website that features the term "Park Slope resident."