Women and Body odor

So this woman I am close to never wears deodorant/anti-perspirant and she kind of smells like a men's locker, especially on sultry nights.

Then yesterday, two other close women friends hop into my car and WOAH!, break out the clothes pins! The stench was kind of overbearing.

Anyway, what is up with this?

Is women not wearing deodorant/anti-perspirant de rigeur? What statement is being made here? And how does a gentleman go about informing his female counterparts that they reek to high heaven? Especially if one of them is is his significant other to be?

Just wondering

i'm a straight shooter , unlike most guys, if a female friend stink i let them know. but i stink all the time from work LOL.

A few reasons a woman might not wear antiperspirant (it's very had to find a non manly smelling deodorant without antiperspirant):

-allergic to the common antiperspirant ingredients (this can be painful)

-worried about chemicals on the body in general or heard some rumor about deo/anti causing cancer (I don't know about this, but I know I've seen headlines implying the products are related to breast cancer)

-don't realize how smelly they are

I'm not sure how to broach the subject in this situation. Have you inspected the bathroom to see if such products are there?

Oh, the significant other does not have such products in her bathroom I believe.

I mean sometimes the odor can get downright distracting.

MeredithB wrote: Oh, the significant other does not have such products in her bathroom I believe.

I mean sometimes the odor can get downright distracting.

So, do you still want her to be your SO? This is a touchy subject, and most women I know don't wouldn't want to be told they stank (especially if she likes the guy). If she doesn't have that stuff in her bathroom then you have a problem, my friend.

As for your other friends, you can do one of two things. Next time they offend, get them good and drunk and start talking about burping, farting, their periods...anything that will get them talking about themselves to the point where they're comfortable talking about that kind of stuff. Then- lay it on them. Do this ALL with humor! It hurts less if you're all laughing at each other.

Whatchuwant wrote: So, do you still want her to be your SO? This is a touchy subject, and most women I know don't wouldn't want to be told they stank (especially if she likes the guy). If she doesn't have that stuff in her bathroom then you have a problem, my friend.

I do so I need to figure a way to breach this subject without coming across as a pompous ass who can't stand the whiff of BO while in the throws of passion.

How the hell are you dating someone who doesn't wear deodorant??! I have very low standards but not smelling like a pile of dirty laundry is one of them.

Fight fire with fire. Skip a few showers and loose the deodorant for a few days and see if she notices.

I agree with WUW, that if the products are not in the bathroom, you've got a non-user instead of a forgetful user.

Carmen wrote: How the hell are you dating someone who doesn't wear deodorant??! I have very low standards but not smelling like a pile of dirty laundry is one of them.

In the scope of what I desire in an other, wearing deodorant is not on the list and can be (hopefully) easily rectified.

OpossumQueen wrote: Fight fire with fire. Skip a few showers and loose the deodorant for a few days and see if she notices.

I agree with WUW, that if the products are not in the bathroom, you've got a non-user instead of a forgetful user.

Not a bad idea, but I can't skip showers in this heat.

So how do I get a non-user to become a user? I mean what could her reasoning be and how do I combat it?

MeredithB wrote:
So how do I get a non-user to become a user? I mean what could her reasoning be and how do I combat it?

Well, is she a hippie-dippy type? European? Does she have a bad sense of smell? Maybe she's wearing some all-natural stuff that isn't cutting it....maybe she thinks she doesn't stick...

How how how how....that's really a tough one, Meredith. I'm still with the getting drunk thing. Bring up a story about yourself- make up a story about how all of a sudden your deodorant stopped working and you've been on the hunt for a new one, blah blah, does she have a suggestion, can she smell your funk or are you crazy, etc etc.

Or there's always a "man I was on the train the other day and this dude was next to me and he smelled RANK!! I am SO SO glad *I* don't smell like that" then glare at her. If thats not direct enough you can follow up with... "like you."

I was thinking of saying, "MAN I REALLY STINK!!" and when she says, "No you don't" then saying, "Oh, it must be you."

But yeah, she is an all-natural girl. There must be some all natural stuff that does the trick.

Just putting in my two cents, I've been using this one lately - http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29735631 - in a jasmine scent that they don't currently have available due to moving. Most "natural" deodorants you can buy in a store have done absolutely nothing for me, but this one has been doing the job pretty well on my otherwise stinky pits and it smells good.

Good luck!

MeredithB wrote: I was thinking of saying, "MAN I REALLY STINK!!" and when she says, "No you don't" then saying, "Oh, it must be you."

But yeah, she is an all-natural girl. There must be some all natural stuff that does the trick.

...that or you'll have to hope fall/winter comes early.

MeredithB wrote: I was thinking of saying, "MAN I REALLY STINK!!" and when she says, "No you don't" then saying, "Oh, it must be you."

But yeah, she is an all-natural girl. There must be some all natural stuff that does the trick.

...that or you'll have to hope fall/winter comes early.

Okay, here's my suggestion Meredith: I did this with my mother-in-law who had smelly feet. I waited til there was a bunch of us getting into my care(her included) and then I said "WHAT IS THAT SMELL" OUTLOUD!!! (LMAO) . Everyone was looking at each other and saying "Yeah, what is that"????? I had all to do but crack up laughing. I turned to look at her andf she was all embarrased cause she already knew it was her.....she got the message!!....wink...wink!!!

embereye wrote: Just putting in my two cents, I've been using this one lately - http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29735631 - in a jasmine scent that they don't currently have available due to moving. Most "natural" deodorants you can buy in a store have done absolutely nothing for me, but this one has been doing the job pretty well on my otherwise stinky pits and it smells good.

Good luck!

I'm buying some and I'll wrap it up all romantic like.

MeredithB wrote: [quote=embereye]Just putting in my two cents, I've been using this one lately - http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29735631 - in a jasmine scent that they don't currently have available due to moving. Most "natural" deodorants you can buy in a store have done absolutely nothing for me, but this one has been doing the job pretty well on my otherwise stinky pits and it smells good.

Good luck!

I'm buying some and I'll wrap it up all romantic like.

That is SO not going to go ever well. But- let us know what happens!

Whatchuwant wrote:
That is SO not going to go ever well. But- let us know what happens!

Ditto. Unless you can't let us know. Maybe leave a "If I should die an untimely mysterious death, please let the people in Brooklynian know that it did not work." note just in case?

A. it takes a remarkably entitled person to not wear deodorant, it makes me so irritated. If she is your friend, it's fine to just say (in private, I think it would be horrifying to publicly say something) something like, 'do you smell a funky onion/ musk smell?' Or, 'did you just work out?' or the worst, 'when was your last shower, my god!?'

While these questions may seem rude, it's far ruder of her to be walking around, (and believe me, she smells it) luxuriating in the odor of her own candida/bacterial pit-party and expecting others who may or may not have just eaten, to do the same. For those who do not want to be part of her tribe, its fucking irritating. The tribe has spoken.

MeredithB wrote: I was thinking of saying, "MAN I REALLY STINK!!" and when she says, "No you don't" then saying, "Oh, it must be you."

But yeah, she is an all-natural girl. There must be some all natural stuff that does the trick.

There are baby wipes (many come with non-toxic and natural products) to wipe 'em down during the day and apply some medicated power (Ammens or Gold Bon work best) to keep it dry.

since most women who avoid antiperspirant do so because of the possibility that it raises breast cancer risk, i think you're much more likely to convince her to take more showers than anything else. there are natural deodorants, but the natural antiperspirants are just big rocks of aluminum salts, which is what people are trying to avoid in the first place.

either way, let us know how it goes, once your injuries are sufficiently healed.

Well, the deodorant will be in a bouquet of roses with a card that reads,

"Roses are red, violets are blue, your the apple of my eye but pee you!"

Seriously, if the lady uses tom's and showered every other day she would not smell like this. I see red flags of irritating person in this description.

And the card shoudl read: roses are red, violets are blue.
The sewers called, and they want their smell back from you.

HA! I like that.

But seriously, she is the perfect woman for me besides this which is why I need to take care of this ASAP!

are there times when you find her natural body odor pleasing? i thought most couples have a point where things click over from toxic to exotic?

maybe you could try to influence her diet away from foods that might increase noxious odor?

does she wear lots of synthetic or cotton fabrics? buy her some nice merino wool shirts. surprisingly decent for summer wear, and they wick sweat away so the underarm bacteria can't feast on it.

final idea: start giving her sensual massages that involve rubbing lotions or something on her back. when she isn't looking get some deodorant cream and rub it on her pits.

MeredithB wrote: [I do so I need to figure a way to breach this subject without coming across as a pompous ass who can't stand the whiff of BO while in the throws of passion.

Just send an email with a link to this thread - I'm sure it'll go over well.


:twisted:

You could introduce the topic via a discussion. "So I noticed that you seem to prefer the natural body cleansing approach - water only. Are you allergic to the products out there or do you just not want to support the pharma/beauty industry? My sister/aunt/friend found this product xyz that she swears by because it's natural, and it prevents odor from building up." (Not those exact words but you'll get the idea).
Either you'll get a reason for it or a strong opinion why - or you'll get a question why you're asking. For which you'll need a diplomatic answer that drives the point home.

You could do this while you're out shopping. Or as you're "suddenly remembering" that you ran out of deodorant which you need to buy with her to get her input...

If you get a strong opinion against it you should consider running though. Deodorant should not be the answer as it would only cover for something that already existed in this case. Actual hygiene and fresh clothes may be a better option.

" Hi Hon, Im stopping at the (rite-aid/cvs/neergaard/keyfood) to pick up some more razors/soap/shampoo...do you need anything ? deodorant ? Ill get you some if you like ..."

at least theres a posibility of it seeming like an innocent oversight.
after all youre trying to be a nice guy by calling to ask if she needs anything .

good luck !

there's always the option of having a package of the organic natural anti-stench stuff arrive in the mail ..."it says its for Jane Doe, but it might work on you"...

Ebay is a wonderful thing.

Make her a pretty gift basket of a bunch of all-natural products, nice girly stuff like body wash, shampoo, lotions, lip balm, massage oil, candles, loofah, etc. and include the deodorant in there so it just one item in a very sweet and thoughtful gift. That way the focus isn't on the deodorant (which would scream "YOU STINK!" and might embarrass her) but you know she has it and you can always ask her a few days later "hey, did you try that all-natural deodorant in there? I'm thinking of trying it myself if it works..."